Browsing the blog archives for March, 2009
It is old saying: “Every dog has its day.” But for Rusty, a golden retriever on Manhattan’s lower east side the question is “when?” I sat down with Rusty for an interview before he went to audition for the role of Willy Loman in a new production of “Death of a Salesman”. “Yeah, I know. […]
The New York Yankees announced today that because of adverse economic conditions, they are limiting their players to 4 groupies and 2 prostitutes per player per game. “We appreciate that many of our fans are suffering” says Yankee President Randy Levine. “We know that most of our important fans find it difficult to spend $3,000 […]
Jeremy Rogers is not your typical 24 year old old male. On a Saturday night, Jeremy can be found sitting in front of his computer posting to his blog. “For years I’ve been obsessed with Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner. And now I’ve turned that love into a blog” he said while eating […]
It is like many small towns in America. It has a main street. Church steeples dominate the skyline. But there is one difference. This small town has an immigration problem. The past few years has seen an influx of zombies; more specifically, flesh eating zombies just like you see in the movies. “Zombies first starting coming […]
In what has become a common occurrence a man walking with his children was startled when he witnessed spontaneous human combustion (SHC). “I was just out for a stroll with my kid when – boom – the guy in front of me exploded into a pile of guts. My son was covered in intestines. He may […]
God announced today that, like many people, his identity was stolen. “I was just stupid that’s what it is. I wanted to take a vacation to the Bahamas so I booked a flight online. It was going to be a father/son get together. But when I got my bill there were charges on it that […]
In a brazen attempt to bring down the U.S. Government, a homicide bomber blew up the teleprompters used by President Obama. Also lost in the attack were several Secret Service agents, a pizza delivery boy and a dog named Boo who was traveling and living off the land. “Those bastards knew how to hit us hard” said […]
In shocking entertainment news, Sesame Street today announced that they are ending their long association with the Cookie Monster. Tracked down to his favorite watering hole on 3rd avenue, Cook, as his friends call him relaxed over a Coors Lite with a lime while he told his side of the story. “They say my demographics don’t […]
The first call to police came shortly after 9 AM: Reports of gunfire by the Capitol. “We grabbed our guns and arrived at the scene within minutes” said Lt. Brian McGreevey of the Albany Police Department. “What we saw astounded us. Downtown was filled with men brandishing shotguns. I was surrounded by grizzled old men who […]
In a historic move, scientists from around the globe met for a conference on global warming held on Mars. “We are on Mars to highlight the danger of global warming, not only on Earth but throughtout the universe”, declared Dr. Ludwig Von Stuucker of the research center, “Scientists with White Lab Coats”. After a 3-month journey from […]