Browsing the archives for the Politics category

Dr. Zaius Named Surgeon General!

            In a move that surprised many, President Biden today accepted the resignation of current Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy and appointed Dr. Zaius of Ape City as his successor. “I’d like to thank Dr. Murthy for his service” said Biden at the press conference announcing the move. And I’d […]

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New Bible Translation Reveals That Jesus was Betrayed by Gas Stove!

                    The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) today approved a new Bible translation that will forever alter Christianity. “Look no one was more surprised than we were” said the President of the USCCB Archbishop Timothy Broglio. When we decided upon a new, modern translation […]

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An Important Message From the Federal Bureau of Investigation to All Americans!

                Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we are always looking out for our readers reader whomever has stumbled upon this blog by accident. Therefore we have decided to publish the following statement that has just been released by FBI Headquarters in Washington D.C. and addressed to […]

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Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg Indicts Ham Sandwich!

            Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg announced today that he has indicted a ham sandwich on 33 felony counts after a grand jury found that the ham sandwich was “delicious beyond legal means.” While Democrats have long sought to have the ham sandwich indicted, legal experts worry that the case […]

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Manhattan Infidel Presents My Exclusive Interview with the District Attorney for Manhattan, the Honorable Alvin Bragg

            Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a man much in the news lately: The District Attorney for the island of Manhattan, Alvin Bragg. MI:  Good afternoon Mr. District Attorney. AB:  Please, call me the man who used questionable legality to bring […]

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Biden Names Chief Wild Eagle Head of New Balloon Defense Division of Pentagon!

                    Reacting to criticism of his handling of the recent Chinese Spy balloon incursion over U.S. airspace, President Biden today tapped Chief Wild Eagle of the Hekawi tribe and placed him in charge of air sovereignty readiness. “There is nothing more important to me than our […]

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President Biden Admits to Storing Classified Documents in Several Different Locations!

                After asking the rhetorical question how could Donald Trump “be so irresponsible” President Biden was forced to admit that he himself has stored classified documents, not only in his Penn Biden Center think tank but many other locations.  We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ […]

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From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: With Zero Percent of Precincts Reporting Networks Call 2024 Election for Joe Biden!

            Dateline:  Election Night,  2024 The 2024 Presidential election has been called by all networks and the winner in a landslide is President Joe Biden. “Even though none of the states have finished voting and all polls are still open we feel that there is no path to victory for […]

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A Modest Proposal (To Break Up the United States)

                    Even a very brief examination of the map of Europe over the last 2,000 years shows that borders are not sacred objects.  Borders change.  Sometimes peacefully.  Most often not.  And since it is now abundantly clear that the U.S. cannot continue as it is and […]

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Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Midterm Election Template™

                    With the midterms a day away and many pundits predicting a red wave, we here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ present for our readers a handy template to guide you through election night. It looks like the Democrats will suffer historic losses on […]

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