My Exclusive Interview with the Sad, Tragic Jeremy Gelbwaks

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So close to fame and fortune only to have it cruelly snatched away.

So close to fame and fortune only to have it cruelly snatched away.

Show business can be cruel and heartless even for the very lucky. But those those who aren’t lucky it can be extremely devastating. With that in mind today I interview Jeremy Gelbwaks, the first drummer for the Partridge family and learn his tragic story.

MI: Good afternoon Jeremy. How are you?

JG: You told me over the phone you’d give me 100 bucks if I spoke to you. Where’s my money?

MI: You’ll get it after the interview. So tell me about the Partridge family.

JG: I was there from the beginning. I saved their asses. They needed a drummer for a gig in New Hamburg, New York but didn’t have any. So they hired me.

MI: You were with them for two years. They must have liked your drumming.

JG:  I created the Partridge family sound. My drumming brought them attention. I had my own style. I called it the “Jeremy Gelbwaks atomic beat.” It drove the band to greater heights musically.

MI:  You were there when the Partridge family was discovered and got their first big break.

JG: Yeah, some rich guy named Ruben Kincaid found us. We were playing a block from his record store. People used to go in and ask for our records so he came to see us. He signed us right after that.

MI: He got you the TV show on ABC.

JG:  Yep. We were in the big time. Fame and fortune. I tell you I was getting more pussy than Jimmy Page.

MI: Did you get along with the other members of the Partridge family?

JG:  I was closest to Shirley Jones. She was a sweetheart. I never liked David Cassidy. He was jealous of my looks and was afraid I was getting more girls than he did.

MI: So you’re riding high and after the first year what happened?

JG: Reuben called me and asked me to meet him in his office. I thought I was going to get a raise, being the most popular member you know. Instead he says “Jeremy the family has spoken. They want you out and Brian Forster in.” 

Gelbwak's replacement

Gelbwak’s replacement

I was devastated. I felt like I had been stabbed in the back. How could they do this to me. I’m a better drummer than Brian. Everybody knows that.

MI: Did the other members of the Partridge family ever give you any explanation?

JG: No. I never heard from any of them again.

MI: So what have you done since you left the band?

JG:  I formed my own band, the Jeremy Gelbwaks Combo. We toured for a couple years but didn’t have any success. So we split up. After that I tried to kill myself by putting my head in an oven. Fortunately since I had no money the gas had been turned off. Then I got a job at Burger King. It’s good, honest work and I get all the free fries I want. I like fries.

MI:  I see.

JG: I’m up for a promotion to assistant manager. I hope I get it. Maybe if I become a manager the girls will like me again. Chicks dig assistant managers you know.

MI: Well that’s about all the time I have.

JG: Hey, where’s my money.

[Manhattan Infidel gives him 100 dollars]

JG: Thanks. This will come in handy. I need to buy some new bed sheets. To impress the ladies you see.

MI: Right. Well thank you for meeting with me.

JG: No problem. Oh and tell David Cassidy that if I ever see him I’ll kick his pretty boy ass.

And so ended my interview with the slightly tragic Jeremy Gelbwaks. I leave you with the Partridge family (with Jeremy Gelbwaks not Brian Forster) in all their glory.  I for one feel that Gelbwaks atomic beat drove the band.

 

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