Browsing the blog archives for December, 2016
December 31st is traditionally the day that hundreds of thousands gather in Times Square to watch the ball drop. Not this year however. “It just wouldn’t be appropriate” said New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm, Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio, pictured here). We are still mourning the loss by Hillary Clinton. She should be […]
Famous Hollywood idiot Olivia Wilde raised the bar on Hollywood idiocy by cutting her hair short so that she will no longer have the same hairstyle as Melania Trump. “I am a famous Hollywood idiot” said Wilde. But I’m more than just a famous idiot. I’m a famous, ignorant idiot that cannot be taken seriously. […]
Now that the Christmas rush is over it is time to sit back and reflect on the previous year. Joining me to do this is none other than the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama. MI: Good morning, Mr. President. BO: Manhattan Infidel it’s good to see you again. MI: Let’s talk about the past […]
An alien botanist, known only at “E.T.” was severely burned today when the Samsung phone he was using to phone home exploded, leaving him with third-degree burns over half his body. “Poor little fellow” said a by-stander who saved the burning botanist by throwing a blanket over him. I blame myself. I gave him the […]
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the co-op Not a creature was stirring, because keeping our animal companions as pets is cruel; the stockings were not hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas, that symbol of patriarchy and privilege soon would do the right thing and avoid the residence; The children were nestled […]
Santa’s workforce of elves walked off the job today, threatening the timely delivery of millions of toys around the globe. “We want a livable wage” said a leader of the walkout. For too long we have had to suffer at the hands of Santa and his wage deprivation. We have families to support. Nine dollars […]
Already suffering from the fallout of the Colin Kaepernick kneeling during the national anthem, the NFL was struck another blow as a security guard was caught on film masturbating just feet away from cheerleaders during last Sunday’s game in San Diego. The guard in question has fired the guard and the company that hired him stated […]
Clifford, a big red dog who lives with his owner, eight-year old Emily Elizabeth, has bee busy showing his balls off to the entire neighborhood. And the neighborhood is getting tired of it. “I’m a tolerant fellow” said one resident. But this big red dog has got to go. I mean he struts all over […]
With a month to go before she and her husband are cruelly thrown out of their home, Michelle Obama is letting it be know that she is not happy. “There is no hope left in America” she told me as she sat down for an exclusive interview. MI: Hope. It’s an important theme of your husband’s […]
Tensions are high in the North Pole after protesters from Bumble Lives Matter blocked streets and prevented Santa from making a test run with his reindeer. “We are tired of these white elves oppressing us and taking our teeth” said a member of the activist group. This Hermie or Herby or whatever his name is […]