Manhattan Infidel Presents: My Exclusive Interview with Dead Dianne Feinstein

Come into the light. All are welcome in the light of The Party

 

 

 

 

 

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ it is my pleasure to interview the late senator from California, Dianne Feinstein.

MI:  Good afternoon Senator.

DDF:  Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI:  Let’s get right into it. You recently died. How will this affect your re-election campaign?

DDF:  Isn’t that just like you Republicans? Always pouncing.  To answer your question it will have no effect on my reelection campaign. I expect to win reelection and I expect to continue serving the citizens of California.

MI:  But…..you’re dead.

DDF:  Loyalty to the Democratic Party knows no boundaries. Death is just a phase. Many Democrats are dead and remain loyal Democrats in good standing. Love of the Party is eternal.

MI: Okay. So as a dead Senator what will be your first priority?

DDF:  Brains.

MI:  Oh, you mean that our country needs to import those with skills and scientific knowledge?

DDF: No. Brains. I want brains! 

[Feinstein starts to lick Manhattan Infidel’s skull]

DDF:  Mmm. So tasty. I like your skull. May I eat your brain?

MI: What? No. I mean I’ve never used my brain before but I might one day. You never know when you’ll be on Jeopardy.

[Feinstein continues to lick Manhattan Infidel’s skull]

MI: Will you stop that!

DDF: Brain!

MI: No! Stop that! Down! Down! Sit!

[Dead Dianne Feinstein sits down]

MI:  Now, back to the interview. You mentioned that death is not a boundary for members of The Party. Could you talk more about that?

DDF:  Many Democrats are dead already.

MI:  Really? Give me an example.

DDF:  Chuck Schumer has been dead for centuries. He was killed scaling the walls of Jerusalem during a crusade.

[Chuck Schumer enters]

The long undead Chuck Schumer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CS:  Brain!

MI:  Come on guys. I told you to lay off my brain

[Schumer and Dead Dianne Feinstein sniff Manhattan Infidel’s skull]

CS: He has no brain!

MI: I told you. I’m a blogger. Having a brain isn’t a priority.

CS: I haven’t been so disappointed since I sniffed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s brain.

MI: What is it with you Democrats and brains? Are you telling me you are all undead and you eat the brains of the living?

DDF:  Well it’s not an official part of The Party’s platform but yeah. We all eat the brains of the living.

MI: Why isn’t this front page news?

DDF:  The press doesn’t want to out us as brain eaters since most of them are dead as well.

MI:  Somehow I’ve always suspected this.

[Gavin Newsom enters]

His hair keeps him alive

 

 

 

 

 

 

GN:  Dianne!  It’s good to see you.

[Dead Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Schumer attack Newsom and attempt to sniff his brain]

CS: What’s he got in his hair? I can’t smell his brain!

DDF:  Hair gel is our enemy!

[Dead Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Schumer leave in search of living brain]

CS:  That was a close call. May I sniff your skull?

MI: Don’t even think of it.

And so ended my interview with Dead Dianne Feinstein.  You know I never thought being without a brain could be such an advantage.

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