Newly Declassified Documents Show CIA Role in Assassination of H.R. Pufnstuf!

H.R. Pufnstuf, victim of CIA assassination plot!







Documents recently declassified from the National Archives show what many over the years have suspected:  The CIA planned and carried out the assassination of H.R. Pufnstuf.

“I asked someone from the National Archives if the CIA was involved” said a reporter looking into the documents.

And he said “Definitely. It was a CIA op from the get go.” These were harrowing words to hear.  Think about it.  Our intelligence community was involved in the assassination of an American citizen.  Not an enemy overseas. But an American on American soil.  We have to face up to the fact that our country is not what we thought it was.  It’s all been a sham.

According to the documents the decision to kill Pufnstuf was made by future president George H.W. Bush, who was Director of the CIA at the time.

“Bush was obsessed with Pufnstuf” said a source within the archives.

He viewed Pufnstuf’s popularity with the younger generation as troubling and thought he was a threat to Our Democracy. Also there were rumors that Pufnstuf was a white nationalist with ties to radical militia groups. 

Pufnstuf photographed with his white supremacist militia buddies

Wishing to rid America of what he viewed as its greatest menace, Bush arranged for a CIA officer named Freddy the Flute

Freddy the flute was a patriot and loyal CIA officer!










to gain access to Pufnstuf’s inner circle.

This was easy for Freddy to do.  Pufnstuf was, how shall we put it, rather naïve.  He believed in the essential goodness in people, which only exists in Hollywood movies and certain sections of Nebraska. So Freddy was able to ingratiate himself with Pufnstuf and report on him and his white nationalist buddies. Pufnstuf never suspected a thing.  I guess he thought if he couldn’t trust an anthropomorphic flute whom could he trust?

With intel provided by Freddy the plan to assassinate Pufnstuf gained momentum.

Since Pufnstuf trusted Freddy they had Freddy pretend that he wanted to bring him to a truce meeting with his arch nemesis Wilhemina W. Witchiepoo.

Absolutely Not Meg Ryan post plastic surgery

In reality the meeting was a setup.  Once H.R. arrived, Freddy the Flute shot him twice in the back of the head.

Pufnstuf’s body was brought to a local trash incineration facility and heated to over 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit.  Pufnstuf’s militia buddies Cling and Clang, Dr. Blinky, Pop Lolly and the Hippie Ants were “disappeared” shortly thereafter. No one will say what happened to their bodies but rumor has it they were all buried in the end zone of the old Meadowlands Sports Arena in New Jersey.

As for the man who ordered the hit, George H.W. Bush was deeply affected by what he did.

“I was with him when he died” said a CIA officer.  “And his last words were ‘Pufnstuf you magnificent bastard I read your book!’  We don’t know what he meant by that but we think the book was Pufnstuf’s militia manual.”


2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Do you not think there’s something sinister about Freddie the Flute?

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