Browsing the archives for the The dark side of popular culture category

Peter Rabbit is Dead!

                    Local anthropomorphic animal Peter Rabbit is dead. “My daughter wanted a pet to replace the cat we gave back to the shelter” said the little girl’s father. Yeah I know what you’re saying. Why did I return the cat? It kept peeing all over the […]

Snow White Accuses Seven Dwarfs of “Binary Infringement”!

                Snow White filed a lawsuit against the seven dwarfs from the woods, accusing them of “White male gazing” and engaging in lewd conduct including touching and self-pleasuring upon her sleeping body. “I was asleep for one year. I can only imagine what those dwarfs did to my young, […]

My Exclusive Interview with a Brain Dead, Coked Up, Anorexic, Over the Hill Hollywood Actress

              Today at the journalistic juggernaut that is taking the world by storm known as Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a brain dead, coked up, anorexic, over the hill Hollywood actress who will rent you her mouth for a job . Now I realize by using […]

Charlie Brown Elopes with Teacher!

                Local resident Charlie Brown was missing from school today. So was his teacher. It turns out they had eloped together. “This town is going to hell” said one distraught adult. I mean what the hell is wrong with the parents? Is there something in the water? We […]

Spock Accused of Sexual Misconduct!

              Lieutenant commander Spock, Second Officer on the USS Enterprise was suspended from active duty after a “credible” claim of sexual misconduct was filed against him. If true the charges could end the career of the once-promising Vulcan officer. Even if proved not true it will be a permanent […]

Christmas Canceled as Santa’s Sleigh Collides with Flock of Migrating Canadian Geese

              Tragedy struck today as Santa, out on a test run for Christmas, collided with a flock of Canadian geese over upstate New York. Santa, his sleigh and the reindeer were last seen plummeting to the Earth in a ball of fire. “This is a sad day for us all […]

Island of Misfit Toys Bought by U.S. Navy; To be Used as Target Practice

              The Island of Misfit Toys, home to toys unwanted by little boys and girls, has been purchased by the Navy. “This is a good purchase for us” said Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer. The island is strategically located and the Navy needs a place for target practice. Puerto […]

Frosty the Snowman Announces He is Gender Fluid!

                Frosty the Snowman, beloved anthropomorphic talking pile of snow with a corn cob pipe, button nose and two eyes made out of coal, announced today that he self-identifies as gender fluid and wishes to be known as “Frosty the Snow Z/She.” “This is a difficult and complex […]

Mount Crumpit Resident Shot by Whoville Police During Home Invasion!

                Heavily-armed SWAT teams from the Whoville police department today shot and killed the Grinch after receiving multiple calls about home invasions on Christmas Eve. “We took the perp out with extreme prejudice” said the SWAT commander. The problem began when calls started coming into police headquarters about […]

North Pole Collective Bargaining Talks Stall Over Dental Insurance!

              With Christmas just around the corner the possibility of labor peace fades as both sides admit negotiations are at a standstill. “The fat jolly bastard is killing us” admits the elf foreman (pictured here). All the elves want is an agreement that is fair to both sides. No […]