Browsing the archives for the The dark side of popular culture category

Oompa Loompa Punched in Face; Told to “Shut the Hell Up!”

            New York City has once again fallen victim to a hate crime, an all too common event in this age of Trump after NYPD officers were called to a Starbucks in midtown responding to reports of  a disturbance. “When we arrived we saw an Oompa Loompa calmly sipping his Mocha […]

Batman and Robin Killed in ATF Standoff!

          Unpopular and mistrusted masked vigilantes Batman and Robin were killed today by agents from the ATF after a tense 53-day standoff. “It appears they both burned to death after the Batcave caught fire” said the ATF agent in charge of the standoff. Since this standoff started in March our top […]

Kathryn Janeway Named Least Popular Star Fleet Captain in the Delta Quadrant!

                    The crew of the USS Voyager, stranded in the Delta Quadrant 70,000 light years from Earth, has voted their Captain, Kathryn Janeway, as “The Most Unpopular Captain in the History of Star Fleet Ever!” “The choice was pretty unanimous” said First Officer Chakotay (pictured here) […]

Annoying FIOS Kid Murdered!

            A local youth known only as “That pain in the ass FIOS kid” was found dead after he was reported missing by his parents. “The body was mutilated” said the sheriff. His eyes were cut out and his penis was cut off. He was also dressed in woman’s clothing. […]

McGruff the Crime Dog Wanted for Questioning in Series of Bombings!

              Disgraced and now ball-less former crime fighter McGruff is wanted by the FBI for questioning after a series of terrorist attacks struck the heartland of America. “We are declaring McGruff, formerly known as the ‘Crime Dog’ a person of interest” said FBI director Christopher Wray. The actions of […]

McGruff the Crime Dog Forcibly Sterilized!

              Disgraced former crime fighter McGruff the crime dog’s reputation took a further hit today after he was forcibly sterilized in a last ditch attempt to cure his “wide pooping.” “This is a sad day for all fans of McGruff” said the doctor who performed the sterilization. Every time […]

McGruff the Crime Dog Arrested!

              A series of public defecations that have left investigators baffled took a stunning turn when popular personality McGruff the Crime Dog was arrested after being caught in flagrante delicto defecating on a high school football field. “We chased him down and eventually corned him” said an arresting officer. […]

British Board of Tourism Unveils Catchy New Slogan!

                    Hoping to cash in on the publicity surrounding the death of the child Alfie Evans at a Liverpool Hospital, the British Board of Tourism unveiled a new ad campaign with the catchy slogan:  “Britain: Come for the tea. Stay and watch us kill your child.” “Let’s […]

Kate Blanchett Gets Penis Facial!

              When news first broke that Kate Blanchett and several other Hollywood stars including Sandra Bullock were getting so-called “penis facials” Americans naturally had questions. Can anyone offer their sperm to Kate Blanchett? Is the sperm regulated? What about our strategic sperm reserves? Given my duty as a blogger […]

Mystery Machine Plunges off Cliff!

            The end came today for the Mystery Machine and its colorful denizens when the van plunged off a cliff on the coast of California and fell 100 feet, killing all its occupants. “We had been tracking the mystery machine for some time” said a local sheriff. We didn’t approve […]