Browsing the archives for the The dark side of popular culture category

Mystery Machine Plunges off Cliff!

            The end came today for the Mystery Machine and its colorful denizens when the van plunged off a cliff on the coast of California and fell 100 feet, killing all its occupants. “We had been tracking the mystery machine for some time” said a local sheriff. We didn’t approve […]

Your {Revised} {Revised} {Revised} and Extended NFL Malfeasance Template AKA The I’ll Keep Kneeling That’ll Show Whitey Template™

            In the grand scheme of things an NFL player beating the crap out of his wife is a rare event, like a keyboardist for the Grateful Dead dying. No seriously. It hardly ever happens. Except all the times it does happen. But it only happens because of racial prejudice. […]

Smokey the Bear Burned to Death!

              Longtime Department of the Interior employee Smokey the Bear’s remains were found in a heavily burned out area of Acadia National Park in Northeast Maine yesterday, ending a week-long search for his body. “This is a sad day for all of us” said a rescuer. We had hoped […]

C-3PO Attacked and Melted Down!

                      Protocol droid C-3PO met a horrific end today as a crowd of starving Venezuelans attacked, dismembered and melted him down to exchange his gold on the black market for food. “C-3PO was a compassionate droid” said his longtime friend Luke Skywalker. That’s why he was […]

Captain Kirk Recalled to Star Fleet; Will Answer for Deaths of Red Shirt Crewmen!

                Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the Starship Enterprise has been stripped of his command and ordered to report to Star Fleet to give account of the many crewmen who have died under his watch. Kirk maintains that the high death rate under his command is unavoidable. “Look […]

Obi-Wan Kenobi Hit With Sexual Harassment Lawsuit!

            Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi has stepped down from his position in the Jedi order after a series of disturbing sexual harassment allegations against him came to light. “It has come to our attention that Mr. Kenobi has allegedly acted inappropriately” said the Jedi Order’s Director of Human Relations. The […]

Yet Another Revised and Extended NFL Malfeasance Template™

            It is that time once again where the probing eyes of Manhattan Infidel expose the malfeasance of our sports heroes.  This time it is Buffalo Bills (technically still the only football team to play in New York State) receiver Zay Jones who was arrested after a bloody, naked argument […]

Bono Deeply Sorry for Being Bono!

                    Shaken by scandals involving his “One” charity that included sexual abuse, name-calling, tax evasion, paying only one percent of its proceeds to charity and workers being forced to do domestic chores for Foundation executives legendary Irish singer Bono apologized to the world. “I have failed […]

McGruff the Crime Dog’s Career in Ruins!

              Beloved law and order personality McGruff the Crime dog has entered rehab after a series of embarrassing incidents that tarnished his previously unsullied reputation. The problems began for McGruff (real name Sparky} after he led police to 100 pounds of cocaine. “McGruff just went crazy” said a fellow […]

Special Forces Veteran John Rambo Sued by the Town of Hope, Washington!

          John Rambo has been sued by Hope, Washington after his late rampage destroyed the town’s sheriff’s office and much of the downtown business district. “We are a small peaceful town that likes a small peaceful existence” said Hope’s mayor. And then this Rambo character shows up. Sheriff Teasle told me […]