Browsing the archives for the The dark side of popular culture category

Vacationer From Planet Ferenginar Arrested After Stroking His Lobes In Public!

A Ferengi visiting Earth was arrested and charged with stroking his lobes in public, a Class B misdemeanor punishable by a fine of $500 and/or two weeks in jail. The trouble for the Ferengi tourist began after he complained to authorities that the “human females were clothed.” “I didn’t know what to tell him” said […]

Frankenstein Monster Apologizes for Throwing Girl in the Water; Blames Coffee Addiction!

Under fire for allegedly drowning a young girl, the Frankenstein Monster tweeted today that he was “profoundly sorry for the incident.” “I take full responsibility” said the Monster. Did you ever just have one of those days? It’s kind of like that. It was early and I was was wandering around in a haze. I […]

Borg Successful in Earth Dating Scene!

The Borg, a species from the Delta Quadrant of the Milky Way Galaxy, have begun making inroads on Match and eHarmony, prompting both sites to offer “Borg Assimilation” weekends for free. “Confidence is very sexy” said a woman who dated a Borg. And when he told me that resistance was futile I melted. Finally a man who […]

Doctor McCoy Admits He’s Actually a Mechanic!

Scandal has rocked the staid world aboard the Enterprise as the ship’s chief medical officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy announced that he has no training in medicine and is in fact a mechanic back on Earth. McCoy was first unmasked when Star Fleet asked him to renew his credentials. “He just looked at me and said […]

My Exclusive Interview with Johnny Depp

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing A-list Hollywood actor and heartthrob Johnny Depp. MI:  Good afternoon Mr. Depp. JD: When was the last time an actor assassinated a president? MI: Um, 1865. Why? JD: I think we need to do it again. MI: Are you calling for the assassination of President […]

Dracula Fired From Position as Emergency Medical Technician!

Count Dracula, visitor from exotic eastern Europe, his life rapidly spiraling out control, lost another job today. This marks two jobs lost since his earlier aborted stint in rehab. “What can I say? I shouldn’t have hired him in the first place but I felt sorry for him” said the EMT supervisor. He told me […]

Dracula Fired From Job as Night Counterperson at 24 Hour 7-Eleven!

Count Dracula, recently out of rehab and seeking to get back on his feet, was fired today from his job as night counterperson at 7-Eleven. The Count has only been working at 7-Eleven for a couple of weeks and seemed to be doing a good job before his abrupt termination. “I really hated to let […]

Lieutenant Kojak Accused of Sexual Harassment!

Lieutenant Theo Kojak of Manhattan’s 11th precinct has come under fire for repeated allegations of sexual harassment.  Kojak was once considered a rising star in the NYPD. If true, these allegations could derail the detective’s career. According to reports Lt. Kojak has been placed on modified assignment while the investigation is ongoing. “We’ve had our […]

Count Dracula Enters Rehab!

Count Dracula, visiting these shores from exotic eastern Europe, has entered rehab to treat his overwhelming thirst for blood. Those who know the Count say that, while he was always eccentric, he had recently starting asking them if they knew of any underground “blood parties.” “We didn’t want to say anything” said one friend. He’s […]

Wonder Woman Petitions Justice League for Uniform Change!

Wonder Woman, one of the founding members of the Justice League, has petitioned the board of directors for permission to change her uniform to something “more demure.” “I’m proud of my work in the Justice League” said Wonder Woman. I’m proud to be associated with such fine people as the Green Lantern, the Flash, Batman […]