My Exclusive Interview with Don Lemon

Women over 40 are disgusting!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing CNN personality Don Lemon.

MI:  Good afternoon Mr. Lemon.

DL:  Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI:  You recently came in for a lot of criticism when you said that women who are over 40 are past their prime.

DL:  I misspoke.

MI:  Really?  Well that’s good to know – 

DL:  What I really meant to say is that all women are past their prime.

MI:  All women?

DL:  Yes. This would be a much better world without women. 

MI:  That’s quite a statement.

DL: Women are evil!

MI:  I don’t know about that. Where does this hatred of women come from?

DL:  I saw a vagina once!  It was like staring into the abyss of death!

MI:  That’s an overreaction don’t you think?

DL:  I felt cold and clammy and my breath got shallow.  I remember thinking “Is this death?”  I went blind for a year.  The doctor said it was hysterical blindness.  I’ve heard that people who see visions of hell sometimes lose their sight.

MI:  For god’s sake it was just a vagina!

[Anderson Cooper enters the room] 

Vaginas are not my area of expertise

AC:  Hey Don who are you talking to?

DL:  Manhattan Infidel.  He has a blog.

AC:  Hello Manhattan Infidel. I’m always up for meeting a fellow member of the press.  What are you talking about?

MI:  Vaginas.

AC:  Not my area of expertise.  But I did see a vagina once.  I went blind for a year.

DL:  So did I!

AC:  It was like looking into the abyss of death.

DLYes!

AC:  My god what is that over there?

MI:  It’s a ham sandwich.  It’s my lunch.

AC:  The ham reminds me of the time I looked at a vagina!  Am I staring into the abyss of death again?

DL:  Hold me, Anderson I’m scared.

AC:  Oh my god!  I’ve gone blind again!

DL:  Me too!  Help us Manhattan Infidel!  You must be our eyes.

MI:  Um.  Well actually I have to go.

DL & AC:  Don’t leave us blind and at the mercy of vaginas!  Have some compassion!

MI:  Turn out the lights when you leave.

DL & AC:  Turn out the lights? Is this some kind of cruel joke? We’re both blind!  How can we live in a world with so much pain and misery and vaginas?

And so ended my interview with the two CNN personalities.  Mm.  This ham sandwich does taste great.

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