Manhattan Infidel’s Partial List of Historically White People (HWPs) Who in Reality Were Blacker Than Black!

Everyone is black!








Here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ our staff has just finished watching Queen Charlotte on Netflix.  You know, the show about King George III and his African wife.

Inspired by this show I have compiled a list of Historically White People (HWPs) who may have been from sub-Saharan Africa.

  • Thomas Jefferson 

    Blacker than black!

The third President of the United States and the author of the Declaration of Independence has often been pictured in his portraits as a white man. However, recent historical discoveries point to a much different ethnic makeup for Jefferson.  Contemporaries often described Jefferson as “swarthy” and “black as the night.” Indeed if he was of African descent it would explain his efforts to condemn the slave trade in an earlier draft of the Declaration. His good friend, John Adams, in a letter to his wife Abigail wrote this:  “Thomas was black as the night/Martha was whiter than white/Danger, danger, when you taste brown sugar/Martha fell in love overnight/When she took him home to meet her mama and papa/ you know she had to tell him goodbye.”

Further evidence that Jefferson was black:  He fathered children out of wedlock.

  • Winston Churchill 

    Black is beautiful

A towering figure in 20th Century British history, Churchill took pains to hide his African heritage and asked that he be painted whiter in his portraits. Later in life however he was more open about being black.  During German air raids on London he would often visit those huddling for safety in the subway tunnels and regale them with negro spirituals.  “He was quite the tap dancer” said one woman.  “And would often sing Mr. Bojangles to us.”

Further evidence that Churchill was black:  His father died of syphilis.

  • John Lennon 

    Give peace a chance!

Former Beatle and peace activist, Lennon was a known friend of black people and an opponent of segregation.  We now know why.  Listen to the lyrics of his most well-known song “Imagine.”  “Imagine no possessions/It’s easy if you try”  Why were there no possessions?  Obviously he was talking about the poverty of his fellow black brothers.

Further evidence that Lennon was black:  He died in an act of  gun violence at the hands of a white man.  Granted, Mark David Chapman was not a cop. However he was a camp counselor, which made him cop-adjacent.

  • William Jefferson Clinton 

    President Clinton feels your pain

While it is commonly accepted that Clinton had black blood the full extent of his pedigree of color was unknown until now.  New evidence points to Clinton using “white face” during his entire political career.  “He was a good politician and knew he needed Republican support for his programs.  He also knew that the racist Republicans would never vote for a black man.  Hence the need for white face.”

Further evidence that Clinton was black:  He liked them thick. 

More flesh to love

This has been only a partial list of HWPs who were black.

I know what many of you are saying.  “Manhattan Infidel, what about Abraham Lincoln?  Surely he was black?”  One would think so but historical evidence points to a Hispanic background for Lincoln.  Dominican probably.  Possibly Mexican.

Next time I will look at Historically Black People (HBPs) who may actually have been white.


Manhattan Infidel Presents: My Exclusive Interview with Leander!

Whoops. Guess I’m a free woman now!









Today at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I am pleased to interview the romantic Greek legend Leander.

MI:  Good afternoon Leander. I dare say that the entire world knows your story.

L:  Yes.  It’s romantic and tragic at the same time.

MI:  To love is a tragedy.

L:  That’s a deep, heavy thought.

MI:  I’m a deep, heavy person.

L: Might be the KFC.

MI:  Hey, if loving KFC is wrong, I don’t want to be right. But anyway about your story.  You were in love with Hero.

L:  Yes. Hero.  My soulmate.  My loyal soulmate.  We lived on opposite sides of the Hellespont.  Every night I would swim across the strait to her. Hero, my love, my ever loyal soulmate would light a lamp that would guide me across the strait. Then one day a strong wind blew out the lamp and I lost my way and drowned.  I died for love.

MI:  Very romantic.

L:  Yes.  Yes it is.

MI: So what’s it like being dead?

L:  Kinda boring. Everyone just stands around with nothing to do.

MI:  So it’s a lot like living in Poughkeepsie?

L:  Yes.

MI:  Anyway there is one question I wanted to ask you.

L:  Fire away Manhattan Infidel.

MI:  Why didn’t you just use a boat?

L:  What?

MI:  Why didn’t you just rent a boat  to cross the strait. It would have been a lot easier.


L:  Son of a bitch! Dammit!  I’m such an idiot!  I’m such a stupid idiot!

MI:  Now, now. You’re being hard on yourself.  Besides you can console yourself with the thought that your one true love, your loyal soulmate mourned your death and lived out the rest of her life in lonely isolation.

L:  That’s true. I didn’t think of that.  No doubt she was never able to replace my love and lived out her days as a widow.

MI:  Oh look who it is. It’s Hero herself!

[Hero enters] 

Questions. I got questions!












L:  Hero. My one true love! Ever loyal!

H:  Just answer the goddamn question.

L: What?

H:  Why didn’t you use a f*cking boat?  Do you know how much your death made me look foolish?  Everyone was like “Hero.  Nice girl.  Bad taste in men.  He wasn’t even smart enough to rent a boat.  He never would have been able to provide for her.”

L:  My love!  What are you saying?

H:  Do I have to spell it out, idiot?

L:  But, but… love for you is what killed me.  Surely you stayed loyal to my memory?

H: I have a new man. And he’s smart enough to rent a boat.  Pete come over here.

[Pete Davidson enters] 

Irresistible to all women!








PD:  Hey. What’s up dead Greek guy.

L:  Hero who is this?

H:  It’s my new man, Pete Davidson.

PD:  You didn’t tell me Hero was so……..passionate.

L:  What?  Oh my god.

H:  Well we’re out of here.  Pete and me are going to spend the entire weekend role playing.

[Hero and Pete Davidson leave]

MI: How are you feeling?

L:  I have nothing left to live for.

MI:  Well technically you’re dead.

L:  Women!

MI: Yeah, women.  Can’t live with them.  Can’t live without them.

[Leander notices the bucket of KFC that Manhattan Infidel is holding]

L:  You got a leg in there?

MI: Sure. Have one.

[Leander grabs a leg from the bucket]

MI:  So why didn’t you rent a boat?

L:  Son of a bitch!

[Leander picks up the bucket of KFC and throws it against the wall and leaves]

MI: Touchy isn’t he?

And so ended my interview with Leander.  You know I think I’ll send him my KFC receipt.  Those buckets aren’t cheap.


Zeus Testifies Before Congress!

The god of hellfire! Hellfire void where prohibited by law









During testimony today before Congress, Zeus, chief deity on Mount Olympus, denied any responsibility for the change in the Earth’s climate.

“Look” said Zeus when asked about his role as the bearer of thunder, lightning and rains.

Sending down rain is just one of the things I do.  And no, the amount of rain I send down has nothing to do with so-called climate change. I do not change the climate.  I’m a simple deliverer of rain. Water. Every mortal needs it to survive. I, as a god, do not need water. Though I am fond of pizza and meatloaf.

“Do you deny your role in the J6 insurrection” asked Representative Eric Swalwell (D-CA).

Are you opposed to common-sense gun control? Are you in collusion with Donald Trump? Are you a transphobe? These are questions the American people need to know.

“What the hell does this have to do with climate change” asked the exasperated Zeus.

You people are morons. I hardly know Trump. Though I did introduce him to Marla Maples. The only reason I’m here is because of the Congressional subpoena you delivered to Mt. Olympus. That and you threatened me with an EPA lawsuit.  Something about wetlands.  I don’t know. I didn’t understand it. But as a god I need to do my job with as little government red-tape as possible. For the last time I have nothing to do with climate change. I’m a simple omnipotent god trying to keep the other gods on Olympus in line. Do you think I enjoy this job? It barely leaves me time for my blog – zeus in  You should all visit it.  I need the hits.

“Your hatred of peoples of color is palpable” said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY).  “Do you hate me because you know you can never date me?” she asked.

With that Zeus changed his form into a bull and mounted representative Ocasio-Cortez (pictured here from the live C-SPAN feed)

Take it all! You know you want it!








as congress looked on.

After Zeus had finished with his in flagrante delicto with representative Ocasio-Cortez Congress adjourned for the day.

“I haven’t seen anything like that since Fang-Fang” said Representative Swalwell.


Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News


Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has announced that she is resigning her seat and moving to Mount Olympus.

“I love Zeus so much. I have to be with him. I don’t care if he’s responsible for climate change” she said.


Dr. Zaius Named Surgeon General!

All my life I’ve awaited your coming and dreaded it!







In a move that surprised many, President Biden today accepted the resignation of current Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy and appointed Dr. Zaius of Ape City as his successor.

“I’d like to thank Dr. Murthy for his service” said Biden at the press conference announcing the move.

And I’d like to introduce Dr. Zaius, whom I believe will be a fantastic Surgeon General whose priorities are a perfect match for my administration.  Dr. Zaius comes to us from Ape City, where he was the Minister of Science.  As the Minister of Science he had the opportunity to further the bounds of knowledge of the human anatomy.  This knowledge of course will come in handy during my administration’s compassionate push for more transgender surgery.

With that Dr. Zaius took questions from the assembled reporters.

“What do you hope to accomplish as Surgeon General?” asked one reporter.

“Experimental brain surgery on humans” said Zaius.

I’m all for it.  After all man is a menace. A walking pestilence.  From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself.  Need I remind you about the Forbidden Zone?  The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.

“By Forbidden Zone are you referring to the feces on the streets of San Francisco? Are you in fact criticizing Democratic control of inner cities” asked another reporter.

President Biden jumped in to defend his nominee in what could have been an awkward moment.

“Dr. Zaius is totally apolitical” said the President.

He was not referring to San Francisco.  If anything the Forbidden Zone refers to Florida or Texas, which are both in the hands of MAGA extremists. No, Dr. Zaius has  no intention of injecting himself into politics. He simply wants to perform experimental brain surgery on humans. And give pre-teens puberty blockers, which is something I support.

A reporter for Fox News pounced upon Dr. Zaius.

“By experimental brain surgery do you mean cutting human heads open and taking out pieces of their brain?”

Once again President Biden had to intervene.

You MAGA Republicans are all alike. You’re so anti-science. What is wrong with taking out brain parts? I’ve had my brain operated on twice and I’m doing just fine! Truinnerashuvaduprezure!

Dr. Zaius’ is expected to draw opposition from MAGA Republicans in the House but President Biden is confident he has enough votes to confirm the nomination.


Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News


The American Medical Association released a statement in support of Dr. Zaius.

“We are the AMA are all about giving pre-teens puberty blockers. And the experimental brain surgery Dr. Zaius advocates will open up new opportunities for research.  We believe he will be an excellent Surgeon General.”



New Bible Translation Reveals That Jesus was Betrayed by Gas Stove!

Behold the horror!











The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) today approved a new Bible translation that will forever alter Christianity.

“Look no one was more surprised than we were” said the President of the USCCB Archbishop Timothy Broglio.

When we decided upon a new, modern translation we had no idea at first what it would entail.  We figured it was just replacing a few “Amens” with “Listen up I am about to say something important” or a few “Thou’s” with a couple “Youse guys” you know, to appeal to the young kids who are the future of the church.  But when we got the finished translation and started reading it and discovered that it was a gas stove not Judas who betrayed Our Lord well let’s just say we were gobsmacked.

The USCCB has wanted a new Bible translation for years but always ran up against the same problem:  The Vulgate, the 4th century translation of the Bible by St. Jerome was in Latin.

None of us actually read or speak Latin. I mean Latin? Really? That’s the language of dead white men. And I may be white but I’m not dead so naturally I have no interest in it.  So how were we going to translate it? Simple really. If it’s in Latin find a Latino to translate it. It was shortly after this thought came into my head that I looked out my office window and saw a Mexican who was mowing the lawn. I immediately got down on my knees and thanked god for sending me a real honest-to-goodness Latino. I had him brought to my office and handed him my copy of the Vulgate.  “You can read this can’t you? As a Latino you must be able to” I asked him. He looked confused at first but then said “Si, Si” and took the Bible with him.  I knew I had made the right decision.

Within a week the Latino lawn mower had returned with the new translation.

“That was quick” said Broglio.

We were expecting it to take months if not years. But hell, we all know Mexicans are hard workers.  I immediately read it and I must say the translation presents new opportunities for theological reflection.  If a gas stove can be responsible for climate change, which we all know is true, then a gas stove would have no problem betraying Jesus. Who knows what evil gas stoves are capable of? In the future I must ask all Catholic artists who wish to represent Judas in their work to portray him as a gas stove. And while change is always painful I believe the laity will accept the new translation with gratitude.

In keeping with the opportunity for new theological reflection the USCCB has announced an alteration to the Nicene Creed.  The phrase “For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate” will be changed to “For our sake he was killed by a gas stove that exploded.”

“These changes will make the Church relevant to young people” said Archbishop Broglio.



Henry VIII’s Profile Voted Least Popular on eharmony!

They see my codpiece and it brings all the girls to the yard!











For the third year in a row the profile of Henry VIII was voted the least popular on eharmony, beating out Dylan Mulvaney and several serial killers.

“It’s the codpiece” said one woman.

It just seems a little……overcompensating if you know what I mean.  I mean who wears a codpiece anymore? Outside of Maryland that is. Besides, it makes him look like he has a hernia.

Another woman didn’t like the entire look of his profile photo.

“It doesn’t seem too modern” she said.

The photo just says “Hi. I’m old and set in my ways.”  If he wants women to think of him as their father I guess it’s okay. I mean who even wears stockings, what looks like a dress and a frilly mink coat anymore?  Outside of Maryland that is.  No.  He’s just not my type. 

Still the reviews were not entirely negative.  One woman mentioned how much she liked his beard.

“It gives him a Justine Timberlake vibe” she said.  “Can he sing and dance?  If so he can give me a call.”

But perhaps the most unpopular part of Henry’s profile, even more than his photo, was the “likes and dislikes” section.

“I didn’t mind the photo” said a woman.

It was different than most men.  But then I read his dislikes and he said he disliked Catherine of Aragon for not giving him a male heir. Jeesh  What is this? The 1970s?  Doesn’t he know gender is a bourgeois construct.  If he really wants a male heir he could simply give his daughter gender reassignment surgery.  Besides who demands that their wife give them a male heir in the first place? Outside of Maryland that is.

Others were concerned over his hobbies.

“His likes were a deal breaker, frankly” said one.

I mean look at it! Read it for yourself.  Likes: Beheading Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard. He beheaded them! Hasn’t he ever heard of marriage counseling?  Or maybe he could do some yoga to center himself.  I have no desire to be added to the list of beheaded woman. Unless it was part of a reality show. Besides, who beheads their wives anymore? Outside of Maryland that is.

Because of this criticism rumor has it that Henry has hired a consultant to update his profile to make it more appealing.


Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News


Henry VIII has updated his eharmony account with a snazzy new profile photo (pictured here.)

Henry VIII’s new profile photo








“This should get all the ladies” he said.  “Well, outside of Maryland that is.”


Local Man Grabs Remote While Wife is Sleeping and Changes Channel!

The cause of so much strife!











A local man has been hailed as a hero by his friends when he took advantage of his wife’s napping to grab the remote and change the channel from Hallmark to ESPN.

“I couldn’t take it anymore” said the man.

I just couldn’t watch the drivel on Hallmark.  I mean who really cares if the career-driven woman living in the big city meets and falls in love with a farmer in the country and gives up her career for true love? Who wants to watch that crap?  I tell you who: Women!  Well I’ve had enough!  I am man hear me roar!

Seeing that his wife had fallen asleep on the couch he seized the day and went for the remote.

It was tricky at first because she was sleeping directly on it.  But I turned her over and grabbed the remote once it was free!  I was elated by my success but had to proceed slowly so she wouldn’t wake up.

With the remote now in hand he tiptoed away from his wife and changed the channel to ESPN.

There was a college basketball game I wanted to watch. Everyone in the office would be watching it. What was I supposed to say?  I was watching Hallmark? Oh sure there may be one man who will ask me if the career-driven woman gave it all up for true love. But he will be quickly shamed by the others. I just had to watch the game. It had just started so I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer.  I also got some pretzels and some popcorn. I was all set!

However the young man’s triumph soon turned to ashes.

Damn if she didn’t wake up during the first half.  She looked up and said “What is that noise?  It doesn’t sound like a career-driven women giving it all up for true love!”  I had to tell her it was a basketball game. That’s when she lowered her voice and said “Give….me….the…remote….now!”  Well when your wife lowers her voice and speaks slowly to you a man has two choices:  Comply or die.  So I gave her back the remote.  She put the Hallmark channel back on and I was forced to watch the career-driven professional woman give it all up for true love. Oh sure there were plenty of misunderstandings along the way and for a while I thought they weren’t going to make it but in the end true love prevailed.


Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News


A man who thought things were okay with his wife after giving her back the remote has just completed his second week sleeping on the couch.

“Sometimes a man just has to watch sports. I’d do it again. Just don’t tell my wife because if she finds out not only will I be sleeping on the couch but she’ll make me do the laundry.”


Dracula Worried About Results of His Blood Test!

What do you mean my insulin level is high?







Dracula, aka “The Lord of Death“, has announced a cessation of his blood-sucking activity until he can clear up the results of his latest blood test.

“I make my living in blood” declared the Lord of the Undead.

But lately I haven’t been feeling all that well. Hey, I may be immortal but that doesn’t mean I can’t get sick. So I went to a cardiologist. During the EKG she’s all “I can’t find a heartbeat!” and I’m all “Well, I’m dead” and she’s all “No that can’t be it. Must be your diet.”  So she asks me what I eat and I say “Blood mostly.” She then asked if it was a religious dietary thing.  It was then I noticed she was wearing a cross.  So I turned into a bat and flew away.  She was all “Wait, wait, I have a script for you for bloodwork at Quest Diagnostics!” So I flew back, picked up the script and thanked her.

Dracula then made an appointment at Quest and went for his blood work.

It was a little weird for me. Usually I’m the one taking the blood. And I don’t like needles! Anyway we’re making small talk during the blood letting and the nurse is “My you’re very pale” and I’m “Well, I’m dead” and she’s “Oh.  I thought maybe you were Irish.” So she took my blood and I thanked her. I don’t know why.  No one ever thanks me when I take their blood. So I wait for the results. And FYI do you know how difficult it was for me to create a Quest account?  I was born in the 13th century. That little thingy wheel on their website only goes back to the 1930s. But I’m digressing.  Anyway I get the results and apparently my insulin level is high. So I make another appointment with my cardiologist.

His next appointment only further confused The Count.

She said she was concerned that I had high blood pressure and asked me if my legs were swollen. I told her not to worry about my blood pressure seeing as how I’m dead. She says “No. That’s not it.  I’m still worried.” So she gives me a diuretic.  I tell her it’s not necessary and that I’m peeing just fine. So I go back a week later and she’s “I’m still worried about your blood pressure” and she doubles the dosage of my diuretic!  Doubles it! Now I’m peeing up a storm!  I was trying to suck the blood of a young lady last week and I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back she had put garlic all over the room. 

Despite the difficulties the medicine is causing, Dracula has decided to keep taking it.

“She probably knows what’s best for me.  Besides, I now have a new side hustle.  I’m peeing so much that I’ve started keeping my urine stored in metal drums at my castle.  Anyone who needs urine for a blood test pays me for mine.  It’s a living and it helps pay the taxes on the castle” said The Count.


An Important Message From the Federal Bureau of Investigation to All Americans!

We only have the best interests of all Americans at heart!









Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we are always looking out for our readers reader whomever has stumbled upon this blog by accident. Therefore we have decided to publish the following statement that has just been released by FBI Headquarters in Washington D.C. and addressed to all “loyal and patriotic Americans.”

FBI Headquarters, 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C.

To all Americans:

In its long and storied history the Federal Bureau of Investigation has had only one goal in mind: To protect Americans from all threats, whether from organized crime or white extremism. (White extremism being identified by an attitude of individualism, hard work and self-reliance.)  Obviously if these dangerous white extremists should become a numerical majority, the Federal Government would diminish in power. And I’m sure all Americans of proper thinking agree that this cannot happen. That is why we monitor all signs of white extremism (white parents who attend school board meetings to protest the compassionate and inclusive pro-trans policies of their school district being one such example.)

Lately however we have come across a more dangerous threat:  The threat of religious extremists.  Some may at first think we are talking about Islam.  This is not so.  Muslims are our friends, Inshallah Inshallah.

No.  The most dangerous threat to America today are radicalized Catholics. More and more formerly docile Catholics have begun to claim loyalty to a “higher power.”  (As if there could be any higher power than Washington.) 

As a service to all good and loyal Americans we now give you this handy cheat sheet on how to identify Catholic extremists in your mist:

  • They will often carry superstitious talismans (referred to by these Catholics as a “rosary.”)
  • The chanting of prayers (not in English, the language of the Declaration of Independence) but in Latin (the language of dead white men.)
  • Praying for souls in a place called “purgatory.”  The FBI does not as of yet fully understand this belief. More research must be made. But since Catholics believe in it, it must be dangerous. We at the Bureau believe that purgatory is a code word for the State of California as Catholics are always praying to be freed from it.
  • The belief that an indulgence will free you from the penalties of sin. This is similar to those of us using low wattage bulbs and low flush toilets to prevent climate change. Though of course when we do it to prevent climate change we have science behind us.  Catholics use indulgences as superstition.

If you see Catholics such as this (they will be easily identifiable by their sweaty palms and crazed glint in their eyes) do not engage! While you may be tempted to shoot them down do not do so.  Only agents of the Government are allowed to kill American citizens.

Instead if you suspect that your neighbor is a radicalized Catholic please call the local FBI office. If your radicalized Catholic neighbor tries to interact with you and you do not have the chance to contact us remember these steps for self-defense:

  • Drape your arms over your head
  • Drop to the ground
  • Roll away

The goal is of course to make yourself as small a target as possible so the crazed Catholic is unable to hurt you.

Thank you.  And be safe

I know I speak for all Americans when I say thank god the Feds are protecting us!



Man Who Identifies as Woman Promotes Beverage That Identifies as Beer!

Bud Light! It’s just like beer. But it ain’t.











Marginally talented actor Dylan Mulvaney, who identifies as a birthing person, has been selected by Bud Light, which identifies as a beer, to be the new face of their ad campaign.

“We are pleased to have Dylan joining us in promoting Bud Light” said a spokesperson for Anheuser-Busch.

When we were deciding who would be the new face of our product we considered many legends in show biz. But they all told us they would rather have their eyeballs gouged out than promote our swill. It was then that we landed upon Dylan Mulvaney.  Well, not literally landed upon they/them because that would be gross.  But we thought, who better to promote our beverage than someone pretending to be something they aren’t.  This makes total sense to us.  And as titans of industry we know what we are talking about.  Have you ever drank Bud Light?  Much like Dylan, it is pretending to be something it isn’t.  In this case beer.

As for the new face of Bud Light, they profess to be delighted at the opportunity.

“Oh my god I am so excited” said Mulvaney.

Anheuser-Busch should be rightfully proud of its part in normalizing birthing people with bulges. As a birthing person who has a bulge I often felt that people were looking at me because my crotch doesn’t look like other birthing people’s crotches because mine doesn’t look like a little Barbie pocket. I would often say to myself “should I wear looser clothing or should I do a tuck?” But then Budweiser contacted me about normalizing the bulge. Birthing people can have bulges and that’s okay! And my first commercial for Bud Light celebrates the bulge.  I am in a bathtub drinking beer. 

This is what non-birthing people do!







Because I’ve heard that’s what non-birthing people do. Especially during sporting events.  They sit together in bathtubs drinking Bud Light.

Anheuser-Busch is hoping their new ad campaign will encourage more people to drink their beverage.

It would help us improve our profit margin if people actually, you know, drank it. Currently its number one usage seems to be at hospitals. Doctors often use Bud Light to sterilize their instruments. Emergency rooms also use Bud Light.  I understand they pour it over open wounds and it stops the bleeding.  Bud Light also repels spiders, rodents and Canadians. And while these uses are very important if we can get people to drink our beverage all the better.  And we think Dylan will get men to drink it. Because men listen to birthing people.  Especially if they have bulges.


Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News Breaking News


Russia has announced a new offensive against the Ukraine.

“We ran out of bombs so we are having our troops throw Bud Light at the Ukrainians. When the Bud Light hits the ground it explodes and releases its contents.  Just like mustard gas during WWI.  So far the Ukrainians have been unable to withstand the barrage” said a Russian general.