For those who wish the ’60s never ended hope is on the way. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young have announced that they might possibly reunite and tour because of their shared hatred of Donald Trump.
“If there is one thing I hate more than anything it’s Donald Trump” said Graham Nash.
He’s an idiot and a child and an asshole and a rapist. And decent, righteous multimillionaires such as myself cannot allow him to destroy our beachfront property with his war on everything decent. America is about freedom. And by that I mean the freedom to conform to the spirit of the ’60s. And by the spirit of the ’60s I mean smoking lots of dope and protesting the Vietnam war. The South Vietnamese people are suffering under capitalism. All they want is to live under the pure form of communism that Ho Chi Minh has set up in the north. I bet Trump will invade Vietnam because that’s what rapists do!
Fellow band member Stephen Stills seconded Nash’s sentiments.
If it’s one thing I have always stood for it’s the spirit of the ’60s. And noticeable weight gain. And by that I mean free love. Lot’s of free love. You know I slept with Linda McCartney before Paul did. She was Linda Eastman then and just a groupie. But I did her. I think that’s why Paul stopped speaking to me. That and I destroyed his Hofner violin bass guitar. Hey, I was so coked up I though the bass was a capitalist pig oppressing the poor peoples of South Vietnam. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Trump. He’s so opposed to the spirit of the ’60s man! And by that I mean – what? I already said that? Sorry my memory isn’t what it used to be. I blame the syphilis. You know. From all the free love man.
David Crosby, while not speaking to Nash or Neil Young was not unopposed to a reunion to protest Trump.
Trump man. He’s evil. I was drug free until he got elected. Then I was forced to start snorting coke again. I mean it’s difficult since my nasal cavities have collapsed from all the coke I did in the 60s. And ’70s. And ’80s. And ’90s. And the 2000s. So I inject the coke directly into my bloodstream. I wish I had done that in the ’60s man. But I was too busy injecting heroin to have time to inject cocaine. But what was I saying? Trump man. I have such an large hatred for him. Almost as large as my prostate. Does anyone know where I can get some Super Beta Prostate?
And finally Neil Young expressed excitement about the reunion.
What? You’ll have to speak up. I misplaced my hearing aide. I’m reuniting with who? The Who? But how can I reunite with Townsend and Daltrey? I’ve never worked with them before. What? I told you to speak up. Nash? Odgen Nash? Never worked with him either. I’m going back inside the house to urinate but when I come back I want you off my lawn! Where the hell did I leave my Super Beta Prostate? I bet you that bastard David Crosby stole it.
The reunion tour, dubbed “The Spirit of the ’60s lives and Something Bad About Trump” will begin in September. Shows will last for two hours with a bathroom break every 15 minutes.