Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

U.S. Army to Lower Standards!

                    Under pressure to maintain an increasing number of recruits, the U.S. Army announced today that it will now be accepting those with a history of “self-mutilation, bi-polar disorder, depression and drug and alcohol abuse.” “We really didn’t have much of a choice” said Army Chief […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents the How the MSM Will Cover the Hillary Clinton-Uranium Scandal Template™

            Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ there are two things that concern us: 1. Bringing the public the truth the official news media will not and 2. Figuring out where to get those Heineken 5 liter kegs. They’re pressurized you know. Oh sure there’s a place in Queens […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: Your Daily Horoscope (The Hooray for Hollywood Edition)

                It’s Thursday. That means I have to write a post. But I got nothing. Almost as much nothing as Robert Mueller and his “investigation.” So I shall fall back upon the first rule of blogging: When you have nothing watch Japanese lesbian porn. Um, actually I think that’s […]

Ents “Freaking Annoyed” by Tree Huggers!

                    The Ents of Middle Earth, normally a patient and deliberate people, have announced that the next “tree hugging son of a bitch” who visits their lands will be “torn to pieces.” “What’s up with these leftist tree huggers” said Treebeard, the oldest of the Ents. […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: Your Daily Horoscope (The Life is Short and Brutish and Always Carry a Shovel Edition)

                After a week of sex scandal news and posts we at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ believe it’s time to take a step back with a lighter post. And so presented for your approval is the daily horoscope. (Horoscope not valid where prohibited by law.) Aquarius […]

My Exclusive Interview with Jimmy Kimmel

                    Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing a rising star in the Democratic Party. Indeed many consider him the heart, soul and conscience of the Party. I am referring to former comedian and late night host Jimmy Kimmel. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Kimmel. […]

My Exclusive Interview with O.J. Simpson

            Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing recently released convicted felon (but technically not a double murderer) Orenthal James Simpson. MI:  Good afternoon Mr. Simpson. OJ: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. Isn’t it a wonderful day? MI: Yes it is. OJ: I missed this so much when I was in  prison.  […]

Tooth Fairy to Rebrand!

                    The Tooth Fairy, in an attempt to modernize her business model, announced today that she will no longer be leaving money in exchange for teeth but will use the cryptocurrency Bitcoin. “What can I say? You have to adapt and change or die” said the […]

My Exclusive Interview With Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

              Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of Interviewing noted European political figure, Hamlet, Prince of the Danes. MI: Good afternoon Hamlet. H:  ‘Tis now the very witching time of night, when church yards yawn and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world.  MI: Um, it’s afternoon pal. […]

North Korea Tests Their Most Advanced Beer Keg Yet!

              The world is on alert tonight as the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea successfully tested their most advanced and weaponized beer keg to date. “The American dogs shall feel the wrath of our new and improved beer kegs” said the corpulent leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un. No […]