Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

United Airlines Goes After Coveted “We Will Kill Your Dog In-Flight” Niche Market

            With the major airline carriers locked in tight competition for your flying dollars many have striven to win so-called “niche or novelty” customers to help ensure profit. “When we put that dog in the overhead bin I was like ‘Yes! Beat that other airlines’ “ said United’s CEO. I mean […]

On State Visit to San Francisco Canadian PM Justin Trudeau Appears Naked in Public and Defecates in BART Station!

                Fresh off an official State visit to India where he wore a dazzling display of authentic Indian costumes, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau continued his tradition of “dressing like the locals” during a visit to the city of San Francisco during a week-long stay in the Republic of […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Suggestions for Improving the Winter Olympics

            With the Winter Olympics finally over I see that the ratings for NBC have crashed and burned harder than Paul Walker into a Santa Clarita lamp post. Which only goes to prove my point. The Winter Olympics are like empathy: Everyone says they like it but most of us manage to […]

Manhattan Infidel Celebrates Nine Years!

            From the desk of former President Barack Obama: On February 20, 2009, a date that shall live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the blog called Manhattan Infidel. The United States was at peace with Manhattan Infidel and, at the solicitation of Manhattan Infidel, was […]

NFL to Commit Suicide; Establishes Committee on Social Justice!

              The National Football League, once the most powerful, most-watched and most popular of  professional sports has decided to commit suicide and will establish a joint owner-player committee on social justice. “I think one thing we can all agree on is the public likes it when athletes with felony […]

Manhattan Interview’s Handy Tips for Landing That Dream Job

              We’ve all gone on job interviews. Sometimes they go well. Sometime they do not go well. Sometimes you end up asking the HR lady if “she’s into it?” The reality is job interviews are stressful. Granted not as stressful as ending up in the exact change line at a […]

Johnny Appleseed Named Domestic Terrorist!

            Dangerous itinerant Swedenborgian missionary John Chapman, aka, “Johnny Appleseed” has been named a domestic terrorist and placed on a no-fly list by the Department of Homeland Security. “This man is a walking menace” said an official at the Department of Homeland Security. Why he’s still alive is anyone’s guess. I’m just […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents Handy Tips for Dealing With the Younger Generation

                Sooner or later it will happen:  You will find yourself middle aged and will have to deal with the younger generation, either at home or in a workplace environment. You may find yourself saying “I cannot relate to these youngsters.”  You may find yourself viewing them as an […]

Giant Child Destroys Commuter Train! Hundreds Killed! Congress Calls for “Assault Child” Ban!

                A commuter train bringing in crowds to the city for the Post-Christmas sales was attacked by a giant child, which swept the train off the tracks and cruelly played with the occupants. “It was horrible. Horrible!” said a terrorized survivor. I was coming into the city to […]

Santa Fined by EPA!

              After an almost year-long investigation Santa Claus has been found guilty of damaging the environment and fined an undisclosed amount by the Environmental Protection Agency. “We found evidence that Santa encouraged people to hang stockings by the chimney with care” said an EPA official. What sort of science-denying deplorable […]