Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

New England Patriots to Start All-Female Offensive Line!

The New England Patriots, winners of two of the last three Super Bowls, shocked the NFL today by announcing that they will be starting an all-female offensive line next season. “We’ve had plenty of success the past few years” said owner Robert Kraft. And that got me to thinking about toxic male masculinity and ableism. […]

Greeks Besiege Troy, New York!

The upstate New York town of Troy, New York has been cutoff from the outside world because of a besieging Greek army. The town, located on the Hudson River about 150 miles north of New York City woke up last week to find ships from Ilium docked in Troy Landing. Greek warriors wearing traditional costumes from […]

Innocent Wiccan Who Just Wanted to Empower Her Gender Killed by Two German Kids!

Police in the German state of Bavaria are still trying to sort out the details of a hate crime wherein a local Wiccan was burned to death after being thrown in an oven by brother and sister Hansel and Gretel. “Of all my years on the force this is the most despicable crime I have […]

Bull of Color Hunted Down and Killed by New York Police!

A bull escaped from a slaughterhouse in Queens, New York and led police on a chase before being brutally shot by the pursuing NYPD. Detectives from the NYPD’s meat-eating division were dispatched to the scene shortly after the bull escaped and blocked off streets in an attempt to capture the bull, who clearly did not […]

From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: April 17, 2017, Trump Deposed by Military Coup!

It’s been a fast moving day here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ and events are still unfolding so I will try to recap what has happened to the best of my ability. 3 am Sunday night/Monday morning Reports first arrived of tanks and heavy artillery entering Washington DC and moving towards the White […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: Eight Years and Counting (The Pon Farr Edition)

On February 20, 2009, one month into the presidency of The One Who Lowers Sea Levels, a humble insignificant blog debuted called Manhattan Infidel. Well it’s eight years later and this humble, insignificant blog has turned into, well, a very humble and very insignificant blog with only three regular readers (not counting the NSA). As I […]

Mt. St. Helens Eruption Caused by Blofeld!

Newly released documents show that the 1980 eruption of Mt. St. Helens was caused by Ernst Stavros Blofeld, head of the international criminal organization SPECTRE. “We are releasing these documents because the public deserves to know that Blofeld was using unsafe materials in constructing an underground lair” said Acting EPA administrator Catherine McCabe. Ernst Stavros […]

Captain Jean-Luc Picard Named “Most Boring Officer in Star Fleet”!

Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise was named Star Fleet’s most boring officer beating out fellow shipmates Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge and Lieutenant Worf (son of Mogh.) “It was a tight race” said one of the judges. While all three are stunningly boring we found La Forge’s lack of success with the ladies, even […]

Nurse Chapel Suspended by Star Fleet; Career in Jeopardy Over Sexual Harassment Allegations!

Christine Chapel, a nurse on board the Federation starship Enterprise has been suspended indefinitely by Star Fleet after complaints that she was engaging in “inappropriate” behavior towards a superior officer. “We have reviewed the complaints lodged by Commander Spock and we deem them credible” said Star Fleet’s director of Climate and Sexual Justice. We at […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Horoscope: The Protest Edition

It’s been awhile since the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel had a horoscope.There are many reasons for this. But since I am drinking again I feel it’s time for the next horoscope. And seeing that protests against the President are once again fashionable I give you: The Protest Edition horoscope. Aquarius (January 20 – February […]