Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

NFL to Commit Suicide; Establishes Committee on Social Justice!

              The National Football League, once the most powerful, most-watched and most popular of  professional sports has decided to commit suicide and will establish a joint owner-player committee on social justice. “I think one thing we can all agree on is the public likes it when athletes with felony […]

Manhattan Interview’s Handy Tips for Landing That Dream Job

              We’ve all gone on job interviews. Sometimes they go well. Sometime they do not go well. Sometimes you end up asking the HR lady if “she’s into it?” The reality is job interviews are stressful. Granted not as stressful as ending up in the exact change line at a […]

Johnny Appleseed Named Domestic Terrorist!

            Dangerous itinerant Swedenborgian missionary John Chapman, aka, “Johnny Appleseed” has been named a domestic terrorist and placed on a no-fly list by the Department of Homeland Security. “This man is a walking menace” said an official at the Department of Homeland Security. Why he’s still alive is anyone’s guess. I’m just […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents Handy Tips for Dealing With the Younger Generation

                Sooner or later it will happen:  You will find yourself middle aged and will have to deal with the younger generation, either at home or in a workplace environment. You may find yourself saying “I cannot relate to these youngsters.”  You may find yourself viewing them as an […]

Giant Child Destroys Commuter Train! Hundreds Killed! Congress Calls for “Assault Child” Ban!

                A commuter train bringing in crowds to the city for the Post-Christmas sales was attacked by a giant child, which swept the train off the tracks and cruelly played with the occupants. “It was horrible. Horrible!” said a terrorized survivor. I was coming into the city to […]

Santa Fined by EPA!

              After an almost year-long investigation Santa Claus has been found guilty of damaging the environment and fined an undisclosed amount by the Environmental Protection Agency. “We found evidence that Santa encouraged people to hang stockings by the chimney with care” said an EPA official. What sort of science-denying deplorable […]

U.S. Army to Lower Standards!

                    Under pressure to maintain an increasing number of recruits, the U.S. Army announced today that it will now be accepting those with a history of “self-mutilation, bi-polar disorder, depression and drug and alcohol abuse.” “We really didn’t have much of a choice” said Army Chief […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents the How the MSM Will Cover the Hillary Clinton-Uranium Scandal Template™

            Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ there are two things that concern us: 1. Bringing the public the truth the official news media will not and 2. Figuring out where to get those Heineken 5 liter kegs. They’re pressurized you know. Oh sure there’s a place in Queens […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: Your Daily Horoscope (The Hooray for Hollywood Edition)

                It’s Thursday. That means I have to write a post. But I got nothing. Almost as much nothing as Robert Mueller and his “investigation.” So I shall fall back upon the first rule of blogging: When you have nothing watch Japanese lesbian porn. Um, actually I think that’s […]

Ents “Freaking Annoyed” by Tree Huggers!

                    The Ents of Middle Earth, normally a patient and deliberate people, have announced that the next “tree hugging son of a bitch” who visits their lands will be “torn to pieces.” “What’s up with these leftist tree huggers” said Treebeard, the oldest of the Ents. […]