Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

My Exclusive Interview with Google’s Vice President for Global Affairs and Chief Legal Officer, Kent Walker

            Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a big wig from the world’s most popular search engine, Kent Walker from Google. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Walker. KW: Good afternoon you disgusting pervert. MI: What? KW: We at Google have your entire internet history, remember. What is […]

Entire Population of Mexico Now Playing Guitar on New York City Subways!

              At a press conference at City Hall, Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill DeBlasio) officially announced what all New Yorkers long suspected:  They are way too many Mexicans playing guitar on our subways. “As many New Yorkers would know there are lots of Mexicans in our city” said […]

My Exclusive Interview with His Eminence Cardinal Joseph Tobin of Newark

            Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing His Eminence, Joseph Cardinal Tobin, Archbishop of Newark and successor to the apostles. MI: Good afternoon Cardinal Tobin. CT:  Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. MI: It’s been a rough couple months for America’s Catholics, hasn’t it? CT: Yes. We in the hierarchy have […]

My Exclusive Interview with the Recently Deceased Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan

            Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the unusual pleasure of interviewing two dead people, namely Americans and elite Georgetown graduates Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan. MI: Good afternoon to both of you. JA & LG: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. MI: Would the two of you like anything to eat? JA & LG:  […]

Manhattan Infidel Calls for the Defunding and Eventual Abolition of ICE!

        Like many of my readers reader homeless dude who skims my pool, I have recently noticed how controversial ice has become. Many are protesting ice and calling for its abolition. This came as a surprise to me as I use ice frequently in my daily life, particularly during the summer months. […]

From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives, January 20, 2025: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Sworn in as 46th President of the United States of America!

            For the first time in its racist, sexist, homophobic history, a gendered womyn of color was sworn in as President of the United States. Thousands of proud Hispanics from such far flung regions as the South Bronx and Northern Manhattan lined the Capitol building to see one of their […]

Jupiter Comes Out; Will Transition to Sun

                    The gas giant Jupiter shocked the tight knit Solar System community today when he announced that he self-identifies as a sun and will begin immediate transformation. “It’s true” said the former gas giant. All my life I’ve believed I was different. That I didn’t fit […]

San Francisco to Offer Farming Communities Their Homeless Feces!

              In a welcome display of Blue State-Red State cooperation, San Francisco has generously offered to give struggling farming communities in the interior of America their abundant supply of homless feces to use as fertilizer. “We have a lot of poop on our streets” said San Francisco’s newly elected mayor, […]

Worf Ordered to Undergo Sensitivity Training by Star Fleet Human Resources!

                    Lieutenant Worf, son of Mogh, of the Starship Enterprise has been ordered to undergo several weeks of sensitivity training at Star Fleet Headquarters after a series of complaints against him. “Star Fleet prides itself on being inclusive, tolerant and sensitive” said their Director of Human […]

Alexandria Octavio-Cortez Vows to Bring Socialism to Ferenginar!

            Alexandria Octavio-Cortez, the winner of New York’s 14th congressional district Democratic primary, has vowed to bring the ideals of Democratic socialism to the capitalist planet of Ferenginar. “My victory is the beginning of a movement” said the future of the Democratic party. And that future is socialism, or Democratic socialism. […]