Sixteen years after the 9/11 man-caused incident at the World Trade Center, New York’s compassionate and progressive mayor officiated at a ceremony in midtown at the former Columbus Circle.
In the moving two-part event the vestiges of white power and colonialism were removed as the statue of Columbus was torn off its pedestal and replaced by one of Mohamed Atta. The circle was then renamed “Mohamed Atta Circle.”
“Sixteen years ago our smug, insular capitalist existence was destroyed and scales fell from our eyes” declared the much-admired mayor.
I remember where I was when I first heard about this this man-caused disaster. I was teaching a seminar on overthrowing the capitalist, Christian order when one of my students told me that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. My first thought was “White Christian Republican men! Is there nothing they aren’t capable of?” Later when I found out that they hijackers were adherents of the religion of peace I concluded that this was a teachable moment. Not only was a cathedral of capitalism torn down but people would become curious about Islam and its many progressive tenets. For Islam is also the religion of socialism. Like socialism it is peaceful, redistributionist and moral. I wanted to get our daughter genitally mutilated but was prevented by laws currently in place. It was then that I vowed if I ever became mayor to promote the principles of Islam and to destroy the last vestiges of colonialism and capitalism.
As the crowd chanted “Death to cisgender colonial capitalism” the statue of the monster Christopher Columbus was taken down.
It was then placed in a box, carried to the Hudson River and dumped into the water, never to befoul the enraged, progressive citizens of New York City again.
Next came the unveiling of the statue of Mohamed Atta.
The crowd cheered and many wept. Some threw flowers at it. One woman produced a blade and genitally mutilated herself in honor of the brave martyr of The Prophet.
Attached to the statue was the inscription:
Hero to all
Martyr and feminist
Capitalism is dead
You shall serve The Prophet!
Mayor Wilhelm Jr. then declared the circle to be renamed “Mohamed Atta Circle.”
“A new dawn has begun” declared the handsome, progressive, compassionate, brave and always on time mayor.
We are emerging from the darkness of our Constitution and Judeo-Christian values (which are nothing but a cover for cruel, unfettered capitalism) into the light of socialism and Islam. We are ushering in an era of peace and tranquility. Also by honoring Mohamed Atta we show the Jews that we are not afraid of them. We are friends of the prophet. We also ask Israel to return all occupied territory to its rightful owners. Allah bless you. Socialism bless you. Please disperse to your homes.
To honor The Prophet more fully Mayor Wilhelm Jr. then ordered the electrical grid shut down and all internal plumbing within City limits removed. In the place of capitalistic flush toilets outhouses shall be put on every block.
“In time I want to see all New Yorkers throwing their urine and feces out windows. This will make Allah happy.”