Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

National Organization for Women Seeks to Increase Number of Female Active Shooters!

                Reacting to a slate of recent active shooter events, the National Organization of Woman (“NOW”) will try to increase female representation in the growing active shooter movement. “Every time there is a mass shooting it seems the perpetrator is male” said NOW President Terry O’Neill. Always men. […]

Bert and Ernie: We Visited Ex-Cardinal McCarrick’s Beach House!

            Bert and Ernie, popular characters on Sesame Street, have announced that they often visited disgraced ex-Cardinal Theodore McCarrick’s infamous beach house in New Jersey.  I had the pleasure of sitting down with the dynamic duo to talk about their experience. MI: Good afternoon. B: Good afternoon. E: How are you doing? MI: So […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Guide to the History of the White Power Symbol

              In the past two weeks not only have Brett Kavanaugh’s aide Nina Bash given the white power hand symbol but a man working for the Coast Guard gave it on live television. That has prompted many of my readers my reader to ask “Golly Manhattan Infidel. This use […]

My Exclusive Interview with Google’s Vice President for Global Affairs and Chief Legal Officer, Kent Walker

            Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a big wig from the world’s most popular search engine, Kent Walker from Google. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Walker. KW: Good afternoon you disgusting pervert. MI: What? KW: We at Google have your entire internet history, remember. What is […]

Entire Population of Mexico Now Playing Guitar on New York City Subways!

              At a press conference at City Hall, Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill DeBlasio) officially announced what all New Yorkers long suspected:  They are way too many Mexicans playing guitar on our subways. “As many New Yorkers would know there are lots of Mexicans in our city” said […]

My Exclusive Interview with His Eminence Cardinal Joseph Tobin of Newark

            Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing His Eminence, Joseph Cardinal Tobin, Archbishop of Newark and successor to the apostles. MI: Good afternoon Cardinal Tobin. CT:  Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. MI: It’s been a rough couple months for America’s Catholics, hasn’t it? CT: Yes. We in the hierarchy have […]

My Exclusive Interview with the Recently Deceased Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan

            Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the unusual pleasure of interviewing two dead people, namely Americans and elite Georgetown graduates Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan. MI: Good afternoon to both of you. JA & LG: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. MI: Would the two of you like anything to eat? JA & LG:  […]

Manhattan Infidel Calls for the Defunding and Eventual Abolition of ICE!

        Like many of my readers reader homeless dude who skims my pool, I have recently noticed how controversial ice has become. Many are protesting ice and calling for its abolition. This came as a surprise to me as I use ice frequently in my daily life, particularly during the summer months. […]

From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives, January 20, 2025: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Sworn in as 46th President of the United States of America!

            For the first time in its racist, sexist, homophobic history, a gendered womyn of color was sworn in as President of the United States. Thousands of proud Hispanics from such far flung regions as the South Bronx and Northern Manhattan lined the Capitol building to see one of their […]

Jupiter Comes Out; Will Transition to Sun

                    The gas giant Jupiter shocked the tight knit Solar System community today when he announced that he self-identifies as a sun and will begin immediate transformation. “It’s true” said the former gas giant. All my life I’ve believed I was different. That I didn’t fit […]