Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

San Francisco to Offer Farming Communities Their Homeless Feces!

              In a welcome display of Blue State-Red State cooperation, San Francisco has generously offered to give struggling farming communities in the interior of America their abundant supply of homless feces to use as fertilizer. “We have a lot of poop on our streets” said San Francisco’s newly elected mayor, […]

Worf Ordered to Undergo Sensitivity Training by Star Fleet Human Resources!

                    Lieutenant Worf, son of Mogh, of the Starship Enterprise has been ordered to undergo several weeks of sensitivity training at Star Fleet Headquarters after a series of complaints against him. “Star Fleet prides itself on being inclusive, tolerant and sensitive” said their Director of Human […]

Alexandria Octavio-Cortez Vows to Bring Socialism to Ferenginar!

            Alexandria Octavio-Cortez, the winner of New York’s 14th congressional district Democratic primary, has vowed to bring the ideals of Democratic socialism to the capitalist planet of Ferenginar. “My victory is the beginning of a movement” said the future of the Democratic party. And that future is socialism, or Democratic socialism. […]

My Exclusive Interview with Sacagawea

                    Today at Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a woman of extreme importance in American history: None other than the Shoshone squaw and Lewis and Clark guide Sacagawea. MI: Good afternoon Sacagawea S: Yeah, whatever. MI:Would you like to smoke the pipe of peace with […]

President William McKinley’s Yelp Review of the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo

                Being President of the United States means I often have to attend public events. Sometimes these public events are fun. Sometimes they aren’t. I recently attended the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo New York. Yeah, Buffalo. It’s kind of like Philadelphia only without the cheesesteaks: Boring. My advisers tell […]

My Exclusive Interview with Cardinal Theodore McCarrick

            Today at Manhattan Infidel™ (I report you don’t talk about the contents of my crawlspace) I have the pleasure of interviewing a subject much in the news lately, the retired archbishop of Washington, D.C., His Eminence Cardinal Theodore McCarrick. MI: Good afternoon Cardinal McCarrick. CM: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. Isn’t it […]

Happy Independence Day!

            On July 2nd, 1776 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania the Continental Congress approved a resolution of independence (which was printed and signed by John Hancock on July 4th). Today many Americans have not read the Declaration of Independence. Or if they do they don’t think about it. I urge all Americans […]

Day Baseball? Great Idea. Day Baseball When I’m at Work? Bad Idea!

                  I was prepared to write about last night’s Yankee game  as I had a ticket. Until I noticed it was a day game and I’d be at work. What?  A day game?  During the week?  So I got nothing today. Instead please enjoy this visit to the archives: (5)

Manhattan Infidel’s Handy Guide to Surviving the EuroTrash Apocalypse (AKA the so-called “World Cup”)

              Once every four years a horrible event occurs that forces Americans indoors to drink alone at home instead of at bars like they should. Yes bars will be filled with brawling, foul-mouthed, uncouth Englishman.  Your bars. The bars you usually go to to watch a baseball game. In […]

FBI Releases New Gun Protocol Policy!

            Two weeks ago an FBI agent did a back flip on a dance floor in Denver. His gun came out and discharged, shooting a man in the leg. Since the much-publicized incident top FBI officials have been working around the clock protecting us from the Russians by spying on […]