Browsing the archives for the General insanity category

Yankees Lose to Houston (Pronounced Howston) Astros!

“What?  Trump fired Comey?  To hell with baseball! I’m outraged!” ~ Yankee manager Joe Girardi (Okay so he probably never said that but I’m sure ESPN wishes he did) The Houston (pronounced, as all civilized people agree, Howston) Astros came to town for a four game set against the Yankees. This can only mean one thing: […]

King Arthur Pulls Sword from Stone; U.S. Reacts to Threat!

King Arthur, defeater of the Saxons and ruler of Britain, Ireland, Iceland, Norway and Gaul has been fined by the Environmental Protection Agency after allegedly pulling a sword from a stone. “King Arthur, on or about the 1st of May, did damage to a pristine wetland environment” said the EPA administrator Scott Pruitt. There was […]

My Exclusive Interview with Chrissy Teigen

I must admit I had never heard of today’s guest before but my crack staff of crack addicted researchers insist she is a famous model or something. So without further interruption may I present Chrissy Teigen. MI: Good afternoon Miss Teigen. CT: Excuse me I am not a Miss. I am Mrs. Teigen. I am married to […]

Differentially-Abled Bell Ringer of Notre Dame Resents Your White Privilege!

Quasimodo the hideously deformed bell ringer of Notre Dame Cathedral has announced on his Facebook page that he “resents your white privilege” and that he will not ring any more bells since the cathedral bells “symbolize the triumph of the white elite.” “I am a man and I will no longer do the will of my […]

Aaron Hernandez Commits Suicide, Upset Over Trump Victory; Blames Hillary’s Loss on Rampant American Sexism!

Former NFL star and convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez was found dead in his jail cell Wednesday morning of an apparent suicide. Those close to Hernandez claim that the convicted murderer was “shocked and stunned” by Trump’s victory last November and that it set him into a “tailspin of depression” that he never fully recovered from. […]

After United Airlines Incident Other Airlines Struggle to Compete!

After footage when viral last week of United Airlines forcibly beating and removing a passenger from one of its flights other airlines have decided to follow suit. “When we saw the video we were all like ‘F*ck why didn’t we think of this?’ “ said a spokesman for Delta. I mean I’ve heard of some […]

My Exclusive Interview with William Carlos Williams

If there’s one thing Manhattan Infidel loves doing to relax it’s curling up with a good book. Or streaming lesbian porn. But mainly curling up with a good book. Whenever the internet’s down and I can’t stream lesbian porn. With that in mind I have the pleasure of interviewing Patterson, New Jersey’s poet laureate, William […]

Bing Crosby Questioned on Suspicion of Trafficking in Moonbeams!

Popular singer Bing Crosby was taken into custody today by the LAPD and questioned for several hours over reports that he was offering moonbeams to high school students. “We’ve had our eye on Mr. Crosby for awhile now” said a detective. Parents have been bombarding us with complaints that Crosby has been hanging around schools. […]

Chelsea Clinton Wins Lifetime Achievement Award Beating out Pete Best, Dick Sargent and the Second Guy to Play Lionel on the Jeffersons!

Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former President Bill Clinton and former Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton has been given the “Lifetime Impact Award” from Variety magazine, adding to her long list of accomplishments. “New York City is a vibrant community” said a spokesman for Variety. And Chelsea Clinton is a vibrant example of this vibrant community. […]

The Scoops of Rachel Maddow!

By now many are aware of Rachel Maddow’s scoop where she brought out Donald Trump’s 2005 tax return and showed the world that he paid 25 percent that year. What most don’t know is that Maddow has a long history of such scoops. As a benefit to my readers I now give you  The Scoops […]