Air Force Academy Introduces New Inclusive Language

Gender is a bourgeois construct

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In an effort to modernize, the United States Air Force Academy has announced that going forward cadets are to use their new guide to inclusive language.

“We feel that the most dangerous weapon is language” said a spokesman for the Academy.

Oh sure we have nuclear weapons.  Sure we can bomb the crap out of  you.  But the pain of losing limbs and having your house destroyed is only temporary.  The real, lifelong pain is the pain of being misgendered.  I myself was misgendered once.  It was so painful I had to console myself by sexually harassing someone of a lower rank. They couldn’t complain though.  I used the correct pronouns when I threatened to end its career if they/it didn’t sleep with me.

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we have obtained a copy of the Academy’s new guide to inclusive language for its cadets which we now publish for our readers reader FBI Agents who have this blog under surveillance.

  • I want to write my parents.  What should I call them?

Anything but “mom and dad.”  These terms are fraught with white nationalism.  Instead we suggest such phrases as “they without a penis” and “sperm donor.”

  • But I see nothing wrong with calling my father “dad.”

You must be from a Red State. Never use the phrase dad.  It is insensitive to all our black cadets who of course have never met their fathers. If you must be binary use the phrase “caregiver” or “guardian.”

  • I have a girlfriend – 

Let me stop you right there.  Are you trying to get expelled?  Have you learned nothing about the hurt binary language causes?  Do not refer to it as your “girlfriend.”  Instead use the phrase “They who lies motionless beneath me while I engage in an act of heterosexual coitus.”

  • But sometimes she likes to get on top!

No doubt they/it is trying to release their pent-up pain over patriarchal domination.

  • No I think she just enjoys it.

Do you have they/its number? I wish to investigate this thoroughly.  For the record.

  • I have sworn to fight all our enemies foreign and domestic.  I haven’t forgotten about 9/11.  I will bomb any middle eastern terrorist!

Whoa!  Whoa!  Hold on.  First off 9/11 was a man-caused disaster, not an act of terror.  And the only terrorists in the middle east are the blood-sucking Jews.  You will not have to fight our Muslim allies.  Islam is the religion of peace, you know.

  • So I’ve heard. I guess I won’t be fighting Muslims then.

No.  The only terrorists are white men. I suggest bombing a school board meeting. It is a good thing to kill the white male terrorists who oppose Critical Race Theory.

  • When I’m over the target and the bombs are dropping can I still say “Bombs away”?

No.  We suggest first a prayer to Allah and then saying “Sorry for my systemic racism.”

  • Is it true that the Air Force will be redesigning its bombs?

Yes.  We have noticed that our bombs look similar to a penis. 

No more patriarchal bombs!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is of course patriarchal and in the future all our bombs shall be shaped like vaginas.

  • Will the new vagina-shaped bombs be aerodynamic?

What are we? Pilots?  How the hell should we know.  The Air Force Academy has more important things to worry about than aerodynamic principles.

It is hoped that the Academy’s guide to inclusive language will help future Air Force officers transition to a modern fighting force.

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