John and Yoko Postpone Revolution Until Maid Finishes Fluffing Their Pillows

Fight the man! After the pillows get fluffed that is!








Beatle John Lennon and his avant-garde wife Yoko Ono have announced that they have postponed the start of the revolution against The Man and his unjust class structure because their maid is still in their bedroom.

“Capitalists and their power structures have oppressed us for too long” said Lennon.

Me and  Yoko believe in peace and love.  We are all about peace and love.  Except when I’m beating her of course. But I only beat her because I’m filled with rage over the injustice in western capitalist society.  That’s why me and Yoko have checked into this luxury hotel to lay in bed for a couple weeks.  We are doing it to draw attention to the wealth of the capitalists and how they use it to oppress the common man.

However once ensconced in their luxury suite the two revolutionaries were aghast to discover that they could not lay in bed doing nothing for weeks to promote peace for all mankind until the maid had finished cleaning the room and fluffing the pillows.

Isn’t that so typical of the man.  As soon as your born they make you feel small by giving you no time instead of it all, till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all!  We want revolution.  We want revolution now!  We want to take away the privilege of the fat capitalists. But this maid is making us wait.  She says she has to make our bed and fluff our pillows or she loses her job.  Me and Yoko got so angry.  I told the maid “But you’re postponing the revolution.”  She didn’t seem to care.  No doubt she can’t really function because she’s so full of fear. While I am not unsympathetic, the revolution comes first! I told her to hurry up or I’ll write a nasty song about her.

The maid, distressed at the thought of a nasty song being written about her, finished fluffing the pillows then left to complain to her supervisor about John and Yoko.

The supervisor then went up to John and Yoko’s room and scolded the duo.

“I told them that they could stay in bed as long as they wanted” he said.

But they were not to berate the staff. The maid was only doing her job.  Look I’m all for peace and love and fighting the power as much as the next person but they were keeping her from her mandatory coffee break.  Lennon said that coffee was a tool of the capitalists and said we should all be smoking pot instead. That’s when I realized it was useless to try and talk to them so I told them to go to hell and I left.

Enraged that a capitalist would dare talk to him like that, the peace loving revolutionary proceeded to beat his wife.

“He’s beating me for peace” said Yoko.

“The man is making me do this” said John.  “Everywhere I go I just want peace for everyone.  And fluffy pillows.  But this is denied me.”

The hotel John and Yoko are staying at has released a statement saying that from now on the two can “fluff their own f*cking pillows.”


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