America has no hope without me getting taxpayer paid vacations!

With a month to go before she and her husband are cruelly thrown out of their home, Michelle Obama is letting it be know that she is not  happy.

“There is no hope left in America” she told me as she sat down for an exclusive interview.

MI: Hope. It’s an important theme of your husband’s administration.

MO:  Yes. We gave America hope. For the eight years I was in the White House I was filled with hope that I could jet anywhere around the world on the taxpayer dime. This was a hopeful feeling. Very hopeful. And now that I’m being cruelly thrown out of my home – 

MI: You’re not being cruelly thrown out. The Constitution – 

MO: – Was written by white men for white men.

MI: Right.

MO: As I was saying I am being cruelly thrown out into the street by white people who voted for a white man. This does not fill me with hope. America is not filled with hope. And this makes me very, very disappointed in this country.  Very disappointed.

MI: So you’re saying America today is not filled with hope?

MO: How can they be?  They know that I now have to pay for my own vacations! How can they remain hopeful with this  knowledge? I am very disappointed in America.

MI: You already said that.

MO: Don’t interrupt me. I am so disappointed at the cruelty of America in voting for a cruel man like Donald Trump. I am so, so, so very, very disappointed in America.

MI: I’m sorry for disappointing you. I feel much shame.

MO: You should.

MI: I was being sarcastic.

MO: This disappoints me.

MI: What else disappoints you about America?

MO: What doesn’t?  Rattle off a list.

MI: The electoral college?

MO: Disappointed.

MI: The Constitution?

MO: Disappointed.

MI: Pumpkin spice latte?

MO: Disappointing and meaningless.

MI: Dick Sargent replacing Dick York on Bewitched?

MO: Disappointed. The job should have gone to a black man. Perhaps Nipsey Russell. Ah, Nipsey Russell. Love his poems.

MI: Game four of the 1947 World Series?

MO: I was disappointed by that. Bill Bevens had 8 2/3 perfect innings before losing the game. He should have won.  America is a cruel country.

MI: Automatic transmissions?

MO: Disappointed.

MI: The transcontinental railroad?

MO: Very disappointing. 

MI: Wile E Coyote?

MO: So very disappointed. Why can’t he leave the road runner alone? You know the road runner is black.

MI: I did not know that.  The month of February?

MO: Disappointed. But to be fair I am disappointed in the entire calendar.

MI: Lesbian porn?

MO: Disappointed.

MI: Really?

MO: I was hoping for more French maid costumes.

MI:  Well I have to agree with you on that one. Wayne Brady?

MO:  Disappointed. He lacks black authenticity.

MI:  Girl scout cookies?

MO: Disappointed.

MI: Is there anything that doesn’t disappoint you?

MO:  Free vacations paid for by the American taxpayer.

MI: Well that’s about all the time we have. 

MO: I’m disappointed in you for ending this interview.

MI: I don’t know how I’ll live with myself. Thank you and goodnight.

MO: Where’s my limo?  The lack of a limo disappoints me.

Apparently there is a lot that disappoints our outgoing First Lady.

(56)