Famous Hollywood Idiot Does Idiotic Thing Even By Standards of Famous Idiotic Hollywood!

I am an idiot.

I am an idiot.

Famous Hollywood idiot Olivia Wilde raised the bar on Hollywood idiocy by cutting her hair short so that she will no longer have the same hairstyle as Melania Trump.

“I am a famous Hollywood idiot” said Wilde.

But I’m more than just a famous idiot. I’m a famous, ignorant idiot that cannot be taken seriously. That is why I have cut my hair. By doing this I am showing the world what a gigantic idiot I am. Just imagine. What sort of idiot cuts their hair because they don’t like the hair of the First Lady? I’ll tell you who. Only an irredeemable idiot. That’s who. You know Hillary won the popular vote by three million. That’s the population of Lithuania!

Not all in famously idiotic Hollywood support Wilde’s actions.

“Look I too am a famous Hollywood idiot” said Charlie Sheen.

And I am proud of my contribution to Hollywood idiocy. I’ve never had to work an honest day in my life. I’m the son of privileged Hollywood royalty. But what Olivia has done will make it impossible for the average Hollywood idiot to seem like an idiot anymore. Olivia talks about the population of Lithuania. Hell, I snorted the population of Lithuania off a transsexual hooker’s ass. That’s idiotic but not as idiotic as what Olivia did. Look no one’s saying Olivia can’t be an idiot. Just tone it down a little.

Wilde however, shows no signs of stopping her idiocy.

I’ve been told that Melania is a cisgender, binary female. This has filled me with shame over my cisgender, binary female reproductive organs. I cannot stand by and let Melania rule my organs. So I’m going to have my nose cut off and replaced by a penis. Oh sure I could have the penis grafted where it would normally be. But then no one would see it except those who see my nude scenes in all my TV shows, movies and photo spreads. That’s why I’m having my penis placed on my face. So everyone can see my penis. I will not be cisgender normative any longer! And when Elizabeth Warren wins the presidency in 2020 I will remove the penis from my nose and return to my cisgender normative ways. Elizabeth Warren also has a vagina but she’s a Democratic. That makes me proud of my sugar walls.

Wilde also intends to kill herself.

Melania is living. I am living. I cannot have the same biological state. Fortunately being dead won’t affect my sex life as my loving husband Jason Sudeikas often sleeps with dead people. It’s a common occurrence in Hollywood. We even have clubs that promote necrophilia filled with progressive, necrophilia-loving Democrats.

The Association of Hollywood Necrophiliacs has refused to say whether Wilde’s husband is a member.

“Our members prefer their privacy. It’s a very private club hard to get into. I mean when you’re making sweet love to rotting flesh you want to be sure it’s a corpse and not Rosie O’Donnell.”

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