After eight years of basking in the glow of the “smartest man in the room” Hollywood will have to make the painful adjustment of living under the Trump presidency.
“We in Hollywood take our mission seriously” said a studio executive.
And that mission is to provide propaganda for the Democrats. Oh, and if possible, entertain the rubes. Oh who am I kidding. Hollywood hasn’t worried about entertainment in decades. We’re here to provide progressive entertainment that progressive people will approve of.
“Things were easy when Obama was president” said a prominent actor.
We just turned our gaze to the east and let him organize us. It was a communion of minds. We in Hollywood represent the best and the brightest, the elite if you will. President Obama in Washington came down from the heavens. Elite to elite. But now that Trump is president we must declare war on the undereducated white men of America.
As Donald Trump was being sworn in as President two major motion pictures were green-lighted that will tell the tale of Trump.
The first movie will be called “Trump Armegeddon.”
In Trump Armegeddon, scientists discover that the existence of Trump will wipe out all life on Earth and plan on detonating a thermonuclear device deep within Trump that will split him in two, saving all life on Earth.
Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck have already signed on to play deep-sea oil drillers tasked with drilling into Trump.
“it’s very scientifically accurate” said the film’s producer.
We contacted Neil deGrasse Tyson, who is Hollywood’s scientific adviser, and he told us that detonating a nuclear device deep within Trump would save the world. Our only problem was with congressman John Lewis who was worried that splitting Trump in two would create two illegitimate presidents.
The second movie will be a documentary called “An Inconvenient Trump.”
Narrated by former Vice President and global warming activist Al Gore, the documentary will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the existence of Donald Trump causes glaciers to melt, polar bears to drown and ocean levels to rise.
No one wants sea levels to rise. If sea levels rise then the coast of California will be underwater and we’d all have to move to, I don’t know, Kansas or Nebraska or some other backward state. Nobody wants to live in Kansas or Nebraska except Americans. And those who live in Hollywood are better than that.
The documentary has also been vetted for accuracy by Neil deGrasse Tyson who told producers that he “doesn’t know much about science but this shit rings true.”
Congressman John Lewis makes a cameo in the documentary where he tells the audience that because of Trump’s global warming effect he is not to be considered a “legitimate president.”
Both films will be released this summer and have already been nominated for several Academy awards.