Browsing the blog archives for February, 2017
A bull escaped from a slaughterhouse in Queens, New York and led police on a chase before being brutally shot by the pursuing NYPD. Detectives from the NYPD’s meat-eating division were dispatched to the scene shortly after the bull escaped and blocked off streets in an attempt to capture the bull, who clearly did not […]
Regular readers reader of the journalistic juggernaut unknown blog that is Manhattan Infidel know that Ashley Judd has graced my pages before. I really shouldn’t pile on but sometimes the crazy is so easy it’s like taking candy from a baby. Ah, the tears of my enemies. How delicious they taste! MI: Good afternoon Miss Judd. AJ: Miss? […]
The modest, rural home of a family of black bears was broken into over the weekend by Goldilocks. The bear’s possessions were ransacked and their food eaten before Goldilocks made her escape. “We’re a poor family” said the father black bear. Poor but proud. My house is small and the furniture spartan but I’m not ashamed. […]
It’s been a fast moving day here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ and events are still unfolding so I will try to recap what has happened to the best of my ability. 3 am Sunday night/Monday morning Reports first arrived of tanks and heavy artillery entering Washington DC and moving towards the White […]
The Incredible Hulk was fired today from his position at a local Burger King after receiving a negative employee evaluation. “I knew I shouldn’t have hired him in the first place” said his supervisor at Burger King. First off he showed up at the interview wearing no shirt. Granted this is Florida but still pretty unusual. […]
On February 20, 2009, one month into the presidency of The One Who Lowers Sea Levels, a humble insignificant blog debuted called Manhattan Infidel. Well it’s eight years later and this humble, insignificant blog has turned into, well, a very humble and very insignificant blog with only three regular readers (not counting the NSA). As I […]
Odo the changeling in charge of security onboard the space station Deep Space 9 in the Milky Way galaxy has been drunk by Jake Sisko the annoying son of the station’s commander. “Odo is a valued member of this space station. But very private” said Commander Benjamin Sisko. As such not many people know that […]
It has been announced that Washington DC, in an attempt to heal the racial wounds of America, will be renamed in honor of Margaret Sanger. “We need to move on from our past” said the president of the National Association to Remove Racist Images, Names and Statues. We are a racially divided country and until […]
Newly released documents show that the 1980 eruption of Mt. St. Helens was caused by Ernst Stavros Blofeld, head of the international criminal organization SPECTRE. “We are releasing these documents because the public deserves to know that Blofeld was using unsafe materials in constructing an underground lair” said Acting EPA administrator Catherine McCabe. Ernst Stavros […]
The leaders of Skull Island have restarted a long-dormant project to build a wall to keep out unwanted residents. “This is something we have to do” said Skull Island’s president. We all know what happens if there is no barrier. King Kong and the other prehistoric monsters come over, trample everything and generally unsettle the […]