Hulk smash customers!

The Incredible Hulk was fired today from his position at a local Burger King after receiving a negative employee evaluation.

“I knew I shouldn’t have hired him in the first place” said his supervisor at Burger King.

First off he showed up at the interview wearing no shirt. Granted this is Florida but still pretty unusual. Then on the application under first name he writes “Incredible” and last name as “Hulk.” I asked him what was so incredible about him and he said whenever he becomes angry or outraged his penis experiences a startling transformation. You know if I weren’t gay and into shirtless green men I would have ended the interview.

Despite the awkward interview the Hulk was hired.  Trouble began immediately.

It was our lunch rush and there was a long line. The first person wasn’t sure what they wanted and was holding everybody up. So he gets angry and told him to “choose something now or Hulk smash!”  Well let’s just say the customer left and never came back. I know it was his first day and all so I cut him some slack. I just pulled him aside and told him not to talk to the customers that way. If he were smart he would have taken it as constructive criticism. But instead he gets all defensive and says “Don’t make Hulk angry.” I could have taken that as a threat but as a manager I’m trained in conflict resolution. And anal.

The Hulk also had a tendency to show up late for his shift.

He was always fifteen minutes late at best and as a manager it’s my job to make sure my employees show up on time. And fine them if they break any trays. I asked him why he was late. He says “Hulk have many enemies. Hulk smash enemies.” Look I know all about having enemies. My ex wife still hasn’t forgiven me for leaving her for someone 20 years younger who had a penis. But there is no excuse for habitual lateness. I told him to come in on time or it would reflect poorly on his evaluation.

The final straw for the Hulk came during Burger King’s “special order” promotion.

We at Burger King believe the customer is always right. If they want no pickles we’ll hold it. If they want no lettuce we’ll hold it. Well one day when he was working he just lost it. He threw his Burger King hat off and said “Hold pickles? Hold lettuce? Special orders make Hulk smash! Then he runs out into the parking lot and destroys all the cars, picking them up and tossing them across the street. That was when I decided to let him go.

Called into his manager’s office and given walking papers, a contrite Hulk promised to do better.

“Hulk need job. Hulk have bills to pay!”

Despite his protestations the Hulk was not rehired.

“Look not everyone is good at customer service” said his manager.

“I’m sure he’ll get a new job soon. I mean he’s green and doesn’t wear a shirt. He might fit into a business casual office environment.“

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