Skull Island Builds Wall to Keep Out King Kong; Protests Erupt!

Build the wall! Make Skull Island great again!

Build the wall! Make Skull Island great again!

The leaders of Skull Island have restarted a long-dormant project to build a wall to keep out unwanted residents.

“This is something we have to do” said Skull Island’s president.

We all know what happens if there is no barrier. King Kong and the other prehistoric monsters come over, trample everything and generally unsettle the city. This is necessary for our security. That’s why we are building this wall. Not only will I build this wall but I will make King Kong pay for it! 

The wall, estimated to cost hundreds of millions, will span the length of Skull Island, cutting off  the city from the interior where King Kong lives.

No one is saying that giant prehistoric animals are bad. Okay they are. Let’s be honest about this. Crime. Destruction of property. Lower tax revenue. Higher welfare costs. All this the monsters bring with them.

While there is large support for the wall the project is not uncontroversial. The pro-immigrant party has started a series of protests throughout the city.  Carrying banners that say “Hey ho! Racism Sexism Homophobia Giant Prehistoric Monster Phobia Has Got to Go!” protesters have blocked traffic and smashed store fronts.

“This administration is racist, dangerous and opposed to core Skull Island values” said the leader of the opposition party.

We are a generous, welcoming people. King Kong and the other prehistoric monsters are gentle creatures. They make our society better. To try and blame them for the destruction of our city is not fair. You know what this is don’t you? It’s sexual jealousy. The people building this wall are racists who don’t want to see Kong mate with our blond women. I consider Kong a friend and he makes me a better person. And yes, before you ask, Kong and the other prehistoric creatures should have access to free health care when they are in our city.  So Mr. President, tear down this wall! It is not compassionate.

Those who oppose the wall are hoping that Skull Island’s Supreme Court rules against construction.

The rule of law is sacred to us. Except the laws that we break opposing laws we don’t like. And that’s not breaking the law. It is showing how virtuous we are. So we trust the judges to reign in the power of our democratically-elected tyrant.

As for King Kong he does not know what the controversy is about.

Look I don’t want a wall being built either. I like coming to Skull Island City. I get free medical care. I get to vote for the party that opposes the wall even though I’m not a citizen and I can penetrate their blonde women. What’s wrong with that? And I’m not paying for any damn wall that’s for sure.

The Skull Island Supreme Court is expected to rule on the constitutionality of the wall sometime in the spring.



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