My Exclusive Interview with Ashley Judd (Yet Again)



Regular readers reader of the journalistic juggernaut unknown blog that is Manhattan Infidel know that Ashley Judd has graced my pages before. I really shouldn’t pile on but sometimes the crazy is so easy it’s like taking candy from a baby. Ah, the tears of my enemies. How delicious they taste!

MI: Good afternoon Miss Judd.

AJ: Miss? Miss?  I don’t need your binary sexism fool. My gender is fluid.

MI: Just like my bowels after eating a couple hot peppers.

AJ: Whatever pig.

MI:  I want to talk to you today about your comments equating Trump’s election to rape.

AJ: Yes. The election triggered me. It remains for me the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my lifetime. Raped as a child. Bad. Re-raped by a political system that ordains a clown. Rapey rape bad.

MI: So the election is the same as rape?  Don’t you think you’re cheapening rape by throwing the word around too much?

AJ: No!  Rapey rape is rapey! And the rapey rapists who voted for Trump have penetrated my pussy in a rapey rape fashion.

MI: Right.

AJ: The election triggered, raped and penetrated my pussy.  My pussy hasn’t been raped and penetrated since that time I was having dinner at the Russian Tea Room and I ordered caviar for an appetizer and they brought me House Cured Salmon Gravlax. I’m sure you can relate.

MI: Not really.

AJ: Well I was triggered and outraged that my waiter brought the wrong appetizer. I was humiliated and raped!

MI:  Somehow I don’t think getting the wrong appetizer is quite the same as being raped.

AJ: Rapey raped!

MI:  Rapey raped.

AJ: Do you like my hat?

MI: Your pussy hat?

AJ: It’s not just a pussy hat. It’s my actual pussy. I had it removed and stretched to make a hat.

MI: Good god woman are you insane?

AJ: Try my cookies. I baked them myself.

[Judd hands Manhattan Infidel some cookies which he eats]

MI: Hmm. These aren’t bad actually.

AJ: You’re eating my  pussy.

MI: What?

AJ: I made these cookies from my pussy. I call them pussy cookies. Because I’m powerful and I want men to eat my pussy.

[Manhattan Infidel spits out the cookies]

MI:  Jesus lady you’re insane!

AJ:  Finish my pussy. Eat my pussy!

MI: No I’m not eating your pussy! You know I never thought I’d actually say that to you.

AJ: What do you mean you won’t eat my pussy!  I feel raped.

MI: Right. I’m out of here.

[Manhattan Infidel leaves]

AJ: Come back! Don’t leave!  You’re raping me by leaving! Raping me in a rapey rape fashion!

The crazy is strong in this one. She’ll fit right in in Hollywood.



2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Ashley’s pretty special, Infidel. I’m surprised you left without getting the whole cookie.

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