terrorists attacked this teleprmpter

In a brazen attempt to bring down the U.S. Government, a homicide bomber blew up the teleprompters used by President Obama.  Also lost in the attack were several Secret Service agents, a pizza delivery boy and a dog named Boo who was traveling and living off the land.

“Those bastards knew how to hit us hard” said a surviving agent as he was lifted into an ambulance.  “Without those teleprompters our government will not function.”

The attack happened shortly before President Obama was to give a short 3 minute and 47 second speech.  Witnesses say that a man approached the podium and set off the explosion.  Agent Pierce of the Secret Service said that he did not appear suspicious and that he looked like “that guy from the TV show Numb3rs……no not Rob Morrow, the other guy.  You know – the annoying one who knows math, though when I asked him if he could help my daughter with a math problem he asked me what a fraction was.”

President Obama was uninjured in the blast and was rushed from the scene.  When order was restored Obama toured the blast zone and spoke with survivors:

“We…..um……….that was……..hello…….what I want to say is I’m happy…………what?  Can you hear me back there?  I want to……………umm………………………..we’re going to…………now hold on….hold on……………..I mean……we’re rocking and rolling now….what?………did someone faint back there?

Undaunted by the attack, President Obama stood at the podium where the teleprompters would have been and asked for 3 minutes and 47 seconds of silence.   “I will not give my speech.  Let’s just be silent and remember.”

Experts point to today’s atrocity as an example of the dangers faced by prompters in the course of their duty.

Homeland Security in response to the blast raised the threat level from yellow to “Kiss your sorry ass goodbye.”  The remains of the teleprompter will be buried with full honors in Arlington National Cemetery.

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