Mars – threatened by global warming

In a historic move, scientists from around the globe met for a conference on global warming held on Mars.

“We are on Mars to highlight the danger of global warming, not only on Earth but throughtout the universe”, declared Dr. Ludwig Von Stuucker of the research center, “Scientists with White Lab Coats”.

After a 3-month journey from Earth where 40 Saturn rockets took off simultaneously from 15 different countries, “It was tremendous.  You could see the smoke from space.  We had to  put a hold on windmill research to gather up that much liquid hydrogen” the scientists landed on Mars and immediately held a press conference.

“I hold in my hand the latest temperature readouts from this beautiful planet.  The temperature has risen to almost 20 degrees below zero and continues to rise.  If this keeps up, Mars will become habitable for human life and we want to keep it the pristine wilderness it is.  Look at  this place – it’s beautiful”  said Dr. Stuucker before a gust of supercharged  Martian wind blew off his oxygen mask and he had to scramble to put it back on.

He then released a polar bear that had been brought along. “Do you see how this bear reacts?  He doesn’t see any ice caps and to him this is now normal.”  The bear himself seemed startled by the press and photographers and finally chewed off his oxygen mask before attacking and eating a reporter.

“That’s what global, no, universal, warming does.  It leads to death and destruction.  When we get back to Earth we plan to ask for 3 trillion dollars to build a series of ‘global warming’ stations in third world countries that will teach local inhabitants about the dangers of dependency of fossil fuels.”

Due to lack of oxygen reserves, scientists reporters and photographers scrambled aboard their ships where the conference continued.

“In order to make this trip environmentally friendly I am now going to release the fuel that we were going to use to get back to Earth.  The trip back will be made entirely on wind power” Stuucker said to applause from his fellow scientists.

This announcement started a riot as several reporters attacked the scientists while shouting “you’ve doomed us all!”

Contact with the group was lost shortly after that.

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