Browsing the archives for the Yankees category

On Independence Day The Queen’s Loyal Subjects Get Their Revenge and Beat the Yankees!

“Baseball has been colluding with the Russians to overthrow America for a long time now. Impeach baseball!” ~ Maxine Waters The slumping Yankees, who haven’t won the last six series welcomed the bastard Canadian Toronto Blue Jays to ‘Murica for a July 4th matinee. The Yankees started CC Sabathia (7-3 3.81) and the damn Canadian […]




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Yankees Defeat Rangers After Two Hour Rain Delay in Extra Innings in The Battle of the Japanese Superstars!

“So one of my supporters shot a Republican. Russian interference in our election will do that” ~ Bernie Sanders Coming off a recent rough patch where they lost eight out of nine games the Yankees started a homestand against the Texas Rangers Friday night. It was the battle of the Japanese superstars as the Yankees […]




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Carsten Charles Dominates as Yankees Defeat the Abomination of Desolation

“I invented baseball to collude with the Russians” ~ Abner Doubleday (as reported on CNN) After losing the first game of their series against the Bahstahn Red Sawks behind Suddenly Sucking Tanaka the Yankees hoped to win game two. The Yankees started Carsten Charles Sabathia (7-2 3.66) while the Red Sawks started last year’s Cy Young […]




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Tanaka Strikes Out 13 and Still Loses; Or the “You Live by the Clipboard You Die by the Clipboard” Edition

“I’ve been dead for over 20 years but I hear through anonymous sources that Trump’s son-in-law sold nuclear secrets to the Russians!” ~ Mickey Mantle Beginning a holiday weekend homestand against the Philadelphia, er the Kansas City, um, I mean the Oakland Athletics the Yankees started Mashiro Tanaka (5-4, 5.86) and the A’s Sean Manaea […]




On Rainy, Misty Night in The Bronx the Yankees Beat Kansas City

“An anonymous source in the Yankee clubhouse verifies that Trump colluded with Russia to throw the election” ~ CNN The Yankees came home after a 3-3 road trip to face the Kansas City Athletics. Um, I mean the Kansas City Royals. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (5-2 3.35) and the Royals Jason Vargas (5-3 2.30). […]




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Costly Error Sinks Yankees on Cold Night in The Bronx!

“The Yankees have won eight in a row. Obviously they are getting help from the Russians” ~ MSNBC Having won eight in a row the Yankees continued their series against the Chicago White Sox. The Yankees started Luis Severino (1-1 4.05) and the Sox started Miguel Gonzalez (2-0 2.84). It was old-fashioned baseball at its finest: […]




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Yankees Win Decisively on Opening Day!

“Opening day puts me in mind of the days when I was colluding with the Republicans to influence the election” ~ Vladimir Putin And so after a frustrating 2-4 road trip to begin the season the Yankees arrived in The Bronx for the home opener of the 2017 season. The Yankees started  Michael Pineda (1-1 […]




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Breaking News: The Yankees Really Really Really Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“How was I to know she was underage?  I mean she told me but she could have been lying.” ~ Joe Pepitone On a cold, rainy, ugly night in the Bronx the Yankees started a three-game home stand against the team with the best record in the AL, the Chicago White Sox. The Yankees started […]




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This Just In: The Yankees STILL Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“Why does it hurt when I pee?” ~ Mickey Mantle Having won the first two games of their series against the Tampa Bay (-Devil) Rays the Yankees went for the sweep. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the Bronx. What could possibly go wrong. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (1-2 6.95) while the Rays […]




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It’s Official: The Yankees Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“Today I consider myself really, really screwed” ~ Lou Gehrig After losing a tight one in extra innings to the Athletics the Yankees met for game two in the Bronx. The Yankees started Nathan Eovaldi (0-2 6.11) and the Philadelphia Kansas City Oakland Athletics countered with Kendall Graveman (1-1 2.04). The Yankees scored first in […]




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