Browsing the archives for the Yankees category

Carsten Charles Dominates as Yankees Defeat the Abomination of Desolation

“I invented baseball to collude with the Russians” ~ Abner Doubleday (as reported on CNN) After losing the first game of their series against the Bahstahn Red Sawks behind Suddenly Sucking Tanaka the Yankees hoped to win game two. The Yankees started Carsten Charles Sabathia (7-2 3.66) while the Red Sawks started last year’s Cy Young […]




2 Comments

Tanaka Strikes Out 13 and Still Loses; Or the “You Live by the Clipboard You Die by the Clipboard” Edition

“I’ve been dead for over 20 years but I hear through anonymous sources that Trump’s son-in-law sold nuclear secrets to the Russians!” ~ Mickey Mantle Beginning a holiday weekend homestand against the Philadelphia, er the Kansas City, um, I mean the Oakland Athletics the Yankees started Mashiro Tanaka (5-4, 5.86) and the A’s Sean Manaea […]




On Rainy, Misty Night in The Bronx the Yankees Beat Kansas City

“An anonymous source in the Yankee clubhouse verifies that Trump colluded with Russia to throw the election” ~ CNN The Yankees came home after a 3-3 road trip to face the Kansas City Athletics. Um, I mean the Kansas City Royals. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (5-2 3.35) and the Royals Jason Vargas (5-3 2.30). […]




5 Comments

Costly Error Sinks Yankees on Cold Night in The Bronx!

“The Yankees have won eight in a row. Obviously they are getting help from the Russians” ~ MSNBC Having won eight in a row the Yankees continued their series against the Chicago White Sox. The Yankees started Luis Severino (1-1 4.05) and the Sox started Miguel Gonzalez (2-0 2.84). It was old-fashioned baseball at its finest: […]




4 Comments

Yankees Win Decisively on Opening Day!

“Opening day puts me in mind of the days when I was colluding with the Republicans to influence the election” ~ Vladimir Putin And so after a frustrating 2-4 road trip to begin the season the Yankees arrived in The Bronx for the home opener of the 2017 season. The Yankees started  Michael Pineda (1-1 […]




0 Comments

Breaking News: The Yankees Really Really Really Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“How was I to know she was underage?  I mean she told me but she could have been lying.” ~ Joe Pepitone On a cold, rainy, ugly night in the Bronx the Yankees started a three-game home stand against the team with the best record in the AL, the Chicago White Sox. The Yankees started […]




0 Comments

This Just In: The Yankees STILL Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“Why does it hurt when I pee?” ~ Mickey Mantle Having won the first two games of their series against the Tampa Bay (-Devil) Rays the Yankees went for the sweep. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the Bronx. What could possibly go wrong. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (1-2 6.95) while the Rays […]




2 Comments

It’s Official: The Yankees Hate Manhattan Infidel!

“Today I consider myself really, really screwed” ~ Lou Gehrig After losing a tight one in extra innings to the Athletics the Yankees met for game two in the Bronx. The Yankees started Nathan Eovaldi (0-2 6.11) and the Philadelphia Kansas City Oakland Athletics countered with Kendall Graveman (1-1 2.04). The Yankees scored first in […]




4 Comments

Yankees Lose to Mariners (And Robby Cano, Don’t Ya Know!)

“I run a clean clubhouse. And by that I mean no blacks” ~ Billy Martin And so on a balmy 60 degree day in the Bronx (ah, but if only the game had been played during the day) the Yankees started a homestand against the Seattle Pilots Mariners and the 240 million dollar man, Robinson […]




1 Comment

Yankees Lose on Opening Day!

“Nothing give me greater pleasure than playing the game of baseball.  Except for hookers and booze that is. Actually you know what?  Screw baseball. I want my knob polished.” ~ Mickey Mantle And so, much like Walking Dead fans who now will have to wait six  months to find out who Negan killed, Yankee fans […]




2 Comments