Browsing the archives for the Yankees category

Bullying Yankees Defeat Crying Nats!

“I like to think of whores like Russian collusion: I do it because I want to” ~ Babe Ruth, 1928                 On an abnormally mild night in June in the Bronx the first place Yankees started their  homestand against the Washington Senators Montreal Expos Nationals. The Yankees started […]


Giancarlo Stanton, Aaron Judge Defeat the Abomination of Desolation!

“I like baseball. And Donald Trump is icky and was mean to me” ~ James Comey                   And so on a beautiful Spring May day in the Bronx the Yankees welcomed the abomination of desolation (AKA the Bawstahn Red Sawks) to the Stadium for a three game […]


Yankees Beat Tampa Bay (The Aaron Judge Uses a Private Email Server Edition)

“Every time I hit a home run my people kill a native American” ~ Attributed to Mickey Mantle.                 The already clinched a playoff spot Yankees opened a series against the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays on an Indian Native American Summer night in the Bronx.  The Yankees started […]


God Hates Sunday Night ESPN Baseball and So Should You!

“Trump is going to cause Guam to tip over into the sea. He and Putin will do this.” ~ Maxine Waters                 Yes. God does hate ESPN Sunday night baseball. Is there even any doubt on this? War? Famine?  The Department of Motor Vehicles? Child’s play considered to […]


Yankees Beat Tampa Bay: Fear is a Powerful Motivator

“I lost the election because Steve Banyon was sucking his own c*ck” ~ Hillary Clinto                 On a muggy Friday night in da Bronx the resurgent Yankees, winners of eight of their last ten took on the Tampa Bay Rays.  The Yankees started Masahiro “Don’t kill my family” Tanaka […]


On Independence Day The Queen’s Loyal Subjects Get Their Revenge and Beat the Yankees!

“Baseball has been colluding with the Russians to overthrow America for a long time now. Impeach baseball!” ~ Maxine Waters The slumping Yankees, who haven’t won the last six series welcomed the bastard Canadian Toronto Blue Jays to ‘Murica for a July 4th matinee. The Yankees started CC Sabathia (7-3 3.81) and the damn Canadian […]


Yankees Defeat Rangers After Two Hour Rain Delay in Extra Innings in The Battle of the Japanese Superstars!

“So one of my supporters shot a Republican. Russian interference in our election will do that” ~ Bernie Sanders Coming off a recent rough patch where they lost eight out of nine games the Yankees started a homestand against the Texas Rangers Friday night. It was the battle of the Japanese superstars as the Yankees […]


Carsten Charles Dominates as Yankees Defeat the Abomination of Desolation

“I invented baseball to collude with the Russians” ~ Abner Doubleday (as reported on CNN) After losing the first game of their series against the Bahstahn Red Sawks behind Suddenly Sucking Tanaka the Yankees hoped to win game two. The Yankees started Carsten Charles Sabathia (7-2 3.66) while the Red Sawks started last year’s Cy Young […]


Tanaka Strikes Out 13 and Still Loses; Or the “You Live by the Clipboard You Die by the Clipboard” Edition

“I’ve been dead for over 20 years but I hear through anonymous sources that Trump’s son-in-law sold nuclear secrets to the Russians!” ~ Mickey Mantle Beginning a holiday weekend homestand against the Philadelphia, er the Kansas City, um, I mean the Oakland Athletics the Yankees started Mashiro Tanaka (5-4, 5.86) and the A’s Sean Manaea […]

On Rainy, Misty Night in The Bronx the Yankees Beat Kansas City

“An anonymous source in the Yankee clubhouse verifies that Trump colluded with Russia to throw the election” ~ CNN The Yankees came home after a 3-3 road trip to face the Kansas City Athletics. Um, I mean the Kansas City Royals. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (5-2 3.35) and the Royals Jason Vargas (5-3 2.30). […]