Browsing the archives for the Yankees category

Yankees Beat Oakland (The Chinese Stock Market Edition)

“Are they letting ethnic types in the game now?” ~ Billy Martin On an oppressively humid and rain-filled night in the Bronx (hey, Innominatus quit sending us your left coast rain forest weather) that saw the return of Jacoby Ellsbury and Andrew Miller from stints on the DL the Yankees battled the Philadelphia, Kansas City, Oakland Athletics. […]


America! F*ck Ya! Yankees Beat Tampa in Extra Innings to Start July 4th Weekend!

“Hey, what is the ground doing up here at 10,000 feet?” ~ Thurman Munson On a suspiciously mild (my liberal masters call it “climate change”) July 3rd Friday night in the Bronx the Yankees opened up a homestand against the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays. The Yankees started Masahiro Tanaka (4-3 3.94) and the Rays Chris […]


On Father’s Day Yankees Prove That Fatherhood is a Bourgeois Construct

“I self-identify as a gay, black, fatherless unicorn from Mars.  It is my lived experience” ~ Mark Teixeira And so on Father’s Day in the Bronx, one day after beating Detroit 14-3 the Tigers had their revenge and beat the Yankees 12-4 proving once again that God is dead and fatherhood is a lie promulgated […]

1 Comment

Piñeda Strikes Out Nine as Yankees Beat Miami Marlins

“Baseball is the greatest thing in the world.  Except for hookers who suck my d*ck” ~ Babe Ruth After losing the first two in a home-away series, the Yankees and the Marlins traveled to the Bronx for the final two games.  The Yankees started Michael Piñeda (8-3 3.54) while the Marlins countered with José Urina […]


On Memorial Day the Yankees Assassinate the Royals

“Where does it say you can’t kill the Royals?” ~ The New York Yankees. And so on Memorial Day, the slumping Yankees who have lost ten out of 11 and are officially colder than a witches tit, squared off against the Kansas City Royals, who hold the best record in baseball.  It was an assassination.  […]


Yankees Beat Baltimore; Piñeda Strikes Out 16 and the Tyranny of Pink

“I have a vision that one day baseball fans will be forced to wait in line to go through metal detectors to see the greatest game ever” ~ Babe Ruth on a meth binge. And so on a hot and humid day in the Bronx the first place Yankees finished their homestand against the Baltimore […]


Your 2014 Yankees: The Sad End to a Sorry Season

“It’s designed to break your heart.  The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.” ~ Bart Giamatti. And so on a cold, overcast […]


Your 2014 Yankees: The Police State USA Edition

“That’s baseball, and it’s my game. Y’ know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave ’em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It’s good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of ’em.” ~Humphrey Bogart On a rare Saturday 4 pm start […]


Your 2014 Yankees: The He Might Be Usher Edition

“Baseball is the only place where a sacrifice is really appreciated” ~ Unknown No 9/11 post today. I am sick of 9/11.  I am sick of how our oversocialized, guilt-ridden left uses it as a “teachable moment” to discuss white privilege and the historical sins of America. I am sick of 9/11 being used as […]


Your 2014 Yankees (The Annoying Drunk Girl Edition)

“The thought of death is peppermint to you/when games begin with patriotic song/and a democratic sun beats broadly down” ~ John Updike On a steamy Friday night in the Bronx, the Yankees, having just won two out of three against the Red Sox welcomed the Kansas City Athletics Royals to town.  The Yankees started Michael Pineda […]