“Opening day puts me in mind of the days when I was colluding with the Republicans to influence the election” ~ Vladimir Putin

Opening day in The Bronx

And so after a frustrating 2-4 road trip to begin the season the Yankees arrived in The Bronx for the home opener of the 2017 season. The Yankees started  Michael Pineda (1-1 3.97) and the Rays starter was Alex Cobb (1-1 3.46).

The Yankees scored first in the bottom of the third. After Ronald Torreyes led off by grounding out Brett “Male Pattern Baldness” Gardner struck out but reached first on a passed ball. Jacoby “Worth every dollar of his contract – not” Ellsbury then doubled him home.  1-0 Yankees after three.

The Yankees scored again in the bottom of the fourth. After Starlin Castro struck out swinging and Chase Headley struck out looking, Aaron “Me Strong Like Bull” hit a home run to deep left.  2-0 Yankees after four.

In the Bottom of the seventh the Yankees got another run as Chase “Mr. Error”  Headley led off the inning and homered to right field.  3-0 Yankees after seven.

Pineda was masterful and had a perfect game for the first 6 2/3 innings before allowing a double to Evan “Loved ya in Desperate Housewives” Longoria.

In the top of the eighth Tampa scored what would be its only run when Logan Morrison homered off Pineda, who was then taken out to a standing ovation having allowed one run and two hits while striking out 11 over 7 2/3 innings. 3-1 Yankees after 7 1/2.

In the bottom of the eighth the Yankees batted around scoring five times and knocking Tampa’s starter out of the game. Brett Gardner led off, reached on an error and promptly stole second and third.  After Ellsbury flight out to right field Matt Holiday doubled him home. The next batter, Chris Carter tripled, scoring Holiday. Starlin Castro then homered. The Yankees got their last run of the inning when Torreyes grounded into a fielder’s choice, scoring Chase Headley. Yankees 8 Rays 1 after eight.

And that was the final score.

This was my third opening day and the first one I’ve been to where the Yankees won. And unlike last year when I was freezing in 35 degree temps this time it was sunny and in the 70s.  I was in the sun the entire time and got burned to a crisp. At one point I spontaneously combusted (as the Irish sometimes do when exposed to direct sunlight.) Fortunately those sitting next to me put me out by pouring their beers on me.

And now the big question: How will the Yankees do this year? One can’t get a feel for a team until Memorial Day but I’m not expecting much from this team. I’ll be happy with a .500 record. They have lots of good young talent but with the exception of Gary Sanchez (who is on the DL) haven’t had much success at the big league level yet. Aaron Judge has yet to prove he can hit major league pitching (except for home runs). Who knows. He may turn into the next Jay Buhner and I’ll be content with that.

Notes on the game:

As it is still Lent (Holy week no less) I was abstaining. No beer for me. And not hot dogs. The smell of the hot dogs and the beer permeated the Stadium, torturing me the entire time.

Best heckle of the game:  I tried but my heckle of “Yarma: Becoming mindful” didn’t impress the crowd. I guess there weren’t enough Linux administrators at the game.

Recommended reading material:

A Practical Guide to Ubuntu Linux by Mark G. Sobell.

Reader mail:

A.P. of Poughkeepsie writes “I need to mount a network drive on my Linux box. How do I do this?”

Simple. You have to edit the fstab file in the /etc directory. Use the editor of your choice but I recommend Nano.

C.H.E. from somewhere in alligator country, Florida, writes “Do the Yankees have alligator meat on their menu?  If so I might fly up to New York and attend a game.”

Sorry C.H.E no alligators on the menu. They do have crocodile however.

M.P.A of Maryland writes “It’s all about that bass.”

Um. What?

And so my record this year stands at 1-0.  My next game would have been Friday April 14th against the St. Louis Cardinals but that’s Good Friday. I can’t go to a baseball game on Good Friday. God will strike me dead. So my next game is Tuesday April 18th against the Chicago White Sox.

Go Yankees!

My scorecard from the game:

Turn page on tips on how to score!

Now please enjoy the opening lineup being announced. (Or download if it won’t play in your browser.)

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