Browsing the blog archives for May, 2017

Wonder Woman Petitions Justice League for Uniform Change!

Wonder Woman, one of the founding members of the Justice League, has petitioned the board of directors for permission to change her uniform to something “more demure.” “I’m proud of my work in the Justice League” said Wonder Woman. I’m proud to be associated with such fine people as the Green Lantern, the Flash, Batman […]




Tanaka Strikes Out 13 and Still Loses; Or the “You Live by the Clipboard You Die by the Clipboard” Edition

“I’ve been dead for over 20 years but I hear through anonymous sources that Trump’s son-in-law sold nuclear secrets to the Russians!” ~ Mickey Mantle Beginning a holiday weekend homestand against the Philadelphia, er the Kansas City, um, I mean the Oakland Athletics the Yankees started Mashiro Tanaka (5-4, 5.86) and the A’s Sean Manaea […]




Charlie Brown Loses Football Scholarship!

Charlie Brown, once America’s most touted high school punter, has lost his scholarship to Ohio State. “He just didn’t live up to expectations” said Ohio State’s head coach Urban Meyer. We had heard that he could kick the ball 60-70 yards. Against the wind. With him as our punter we could win another championship. So I […]




The State Goes After Doctor Dolittle

Eccentric, anti-State doctor John Dolittle, who only sees animals, has been targeted by local and Federal officials. “This guy is a very weird doctor” said a Board of Health spokesman. He lives with a bunch of animals at his place. He has a chimpanzee, a horse, four alligators, a bear, I don’t know whether it’s black […]




Bombing in Manchester Kills 22; Motive Unknown; Was Trump Responsible?

A suicide bomber who has been identified as Salman Abedi killed 22 people and injured hundreds, some as young as six, at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England. While the facts are still being collected and not wanting to defame an entire group (unless they are white Christians) I now present the Official Bombing […]




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On Rainy, Misty Night in The Bronx the Yankees Beat Kansas City

“An anonymous source in the Yankee clubhouse verifies that Trump colluded with Russia to throw the election” ~ CNN The Yankees came home after a 3-3 road trip to face the Kansas City Athletics. Um, I mean the Kansas City Royals. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (5-2 3.35) and the Royals Jason Vargas (5-3 2.30). […]




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My Exclusive Interview With Disgraced Former Congressman and Now Registered Sex Offender Anthony Weiner

Last week former congressman and serial “sext-er” Anthony Weiner pleaded guilty to one count of transferring obscene material to a minor. He must now register as a sex offender and forfeit his iPhone. I recently sat down with Weiner to discuss his future. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Weiner. AW: [Sobbing] I knew what I was doing was […]




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Puerto Rican Culturally Appropriates His Inner Mexican and Drives Like Shit; Sources Say He Was Upset Over Russian Interference in 2016 Election

Times Square in Manhattan, the crossroads of the world, became a scene of panic yesterday afternoon as a car drove the wrong way down a one-way street and plowed into pedestrians, injuring dozens and killing one. Richard Rojas, a former Navy vet and current resident of the Bronx who has been arrested twice in the […]




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The Man With No Name Accused of Cultural Appropriation!

The man with no name, the bounty hunter sometimes called “Blondie” has been asked to removed his poncho and give it back to the Mexican people. “White men should not wear ponchos” said a spokesman for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Mexicans. This is a white man. A bounty hunter. Like all white men […]




U.S. Defeats Russia at Ice Hockey World Championship; What Did Trump Know and When Did He Know It?

The United States came from behind and defeated Russia 5-3 at the Ice Hockey World Championship in Cologne, Germany, prompting immediate cries for Trump’s impeachment. “What did Trump know and when did he know it” said Chuck Schumer (D-NY). Did Trump collude with the Russians?  Did Russia interfere in the game and try to have […]




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