Intrepid local crime fighters Courageous Cat and his sidekick Minute Mouse were killed today by their arch-nemesis Chauncey Frog.
“It happened so fast” said an eye witness.
Courageous and his life partner Minute Mouse had just stepped out of the Cat Mobile when Chauncey Frog approached holding a vacuum cleaner. He turned it on and when that happened Courageous Cat freaked out. He just freaked out and started hissing and meowing. Minute Mouse tried to calm him down but to no avail.
As Courageous cat lost his cool Chauncey the Frog (pictured here)
continued to taunt him with the vacuum cleaner. “Yeah, look at the intrepid crime fighter now. Frightened by a vacuum cleaner. Yeah. Frightened!” he kept saying.
Oddly enough witnesses report that Chauncey the Frog sounded just like Edward G. Robinson.
“I closed my eyes and damn if he didn’t sound like him” said another witness.
So I approached him and asked him if he liked to eat soylent green. That’s when he yelled at me to leave him alone, he was busy finalizing his master plan to bring down his arch enemies. So I left him alone. Besides I wanted to watch. Lots of people in Empire City do not like Courageous Cat or Minute Mouse. Punks. So high and mighty and self-righteous and all that family values shit. But everyone knew they were lovers.
As Courageous Cat ran back to the Cat Mobile and continued hissing Chauncey Frog began part two of his master plan to kill them both. He brought forth an elephant that had been laid off from Ringling Brothers and showed him Minute Mouse.
The elephant reared up and stomped Minute Mouse to death.
“The bro just stomped on him” according to a tourist who happened upon the scene.
It was awesome! I mean Minute Mouse didn’t have a chance. He didn’t even have time to let out a scream it was so quick. All that was left was some pulpy tissue. It splattered all over the place. I got some in my eye. It looked like a piece of intestine. Now I think my eye is infected. I’m talking to my lawyer. I think I have a lawsuit.
Still hovering in the Cat Mobile and distracted by the vaccum cleaner Courageous Cat didn’t notice the elephant, who after squishing Minute Mouse to death attacked the Cat Mobile, wrapping it around his trunk and throwing it down the block.
Courageous Cat was thrown from the vehicle, hitting a traffic light which beheaded him. His head ended up a block away from his torso, the intervening ground filled with entrails.
His master plan accomplished, Chauncey Frog took out a cigar and started puffing away.
“I haven’t been this happy since I started taking Super Beta Max and my stream got stronger” he told those standing nearby.
Empire City police have no plans to charge Chauncey Frog with any crime.
“Being in possession of a vacuum cleaner and an elephant is not against the law. Besides, we also hated Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse” said Empire City’s police chief.