Browsing the blog archives for April, 2017
Noted Mexican nationalist Speedy Gonzales today announced his opposition to President Trump’s plans to build a border wall between the United States and Mexico. “Zee wall ees racist” said Speedy. Speedy ees a citizen of zee world. Speedy no believe in borders. Speedy like to roam around zee Mexico – Texas border looking for zee […]
The so-called “Phantom of the Opera” admitted today that life as the famous phantom isn’t all people assume it’s cracked up to be. “Let’s just say it’s been one long downward spiral for me” said the Phantom. I used to be a violinist at the Paris Opera House. The money was good, the music was […]
Rape-denying lawyer Atticus Finch, already unpopular in the town of Maycomb for defending Tom Robinson on charges of raping Mayella Ewell, today in open daylight violated the State’s SAFE laws, laws that guarantee the safety of citizens from gun violence. “I saw him do it” said a neighbor of Atticus in Maycomb. He took his […]
“Opening day puts me in mind of the days when I was colluding with the Republicans to influence the election” ~ Vladimir Putin And so after a frustrating 2-4 road trip to begin the season the Yankees arrived in The Bronx for the home opener of the 2017 season. The Yankees started Michael Pineda (1-1 […]
If there’s one thing Manhattan Infidel loves doing to relax it’s curling up with a good book. Or streaming lesbian porn. But mainly curling up with a good book. Whenever the internet’s down and I can’t stream lesbian porn. With that in mind I have the pleasure of interviewing Patterson, New Jersey’s poet laureate, William […]
Trojan war veteran Odysseus has come under fire for alleged anti-cyclops racism after blinding Polyphemus. “Odysseus is a racist who has two-eyed privilege” said the leader of the Cyclops protests. Yeah I know he’s a war veteran and I want to show respect but it’s no excuse for his unspeakable crime. He carved the end […]
With the possibility that Russia may have helped elect Donald Trump in the news I sat down with ranking Democratic member of the House Intelligence Committee, the honorable Adam Schiff (D-CA). MI: Good afternoon representative Schiff. AS: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. MI: Now let’s talk about what everyone wants to know. Did the Russians get Donald Trump elected? AS: Definitely. How […]
Yosemite Sam, known locally as “that darn rootinest tootinest hombre this side of the Pecos” was shot dead by agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms who were attempting to issue a warrant to search Sam’s premises for an alleged stockpile of weapons. “Yosemite was a well-known gun nut” said ATF deputy director […]
At the behest of well-to-do actor Martin Sheen, the well-to-do beachfront town of Malibu, California which is 91 percent white and has a median income of $120,000 declared itself a sanctuary city. “This is important and we feel it was the only thing we could do in the face of white racism” said a white councilman. […]
Popular singer Bing Crosby was taken into custody today by the LAPD and questioned for several hours over reports that he was offering moonbeams to high school students. “We’ve had our eye on Mr. Crosby for awhile now” said a detective. Parents have been bombarding us with complaints that Crosby has been hanging around schools. […]