My Exclusive Interview with William Carlos Williams

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Hey look I just write this shit. I don’t know what it means.

If there’s one thing Manhattan Infidel loves doing to relax it’s curling up with a good book. Or streaming lesbian porn. But mainly curling up with a good book. Whenever the internet’s down and I can’t stream lesbian porn.

With that in mind I have the pleasure of interviewing Patterson, New Jersey’s poet laureate, William Carlos Williams.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Williams.

WCW: It’s a pleasure to be here.

MI: So what have you been doing with yourself lately?

WCW: Not much. I’ve been dead for 54 years.

MI: That’s right. I forgot.

WCW: Tell me more about this streaming of lesbian porn. How does that work?

MI: We’ll talk about that later.  First I want to talk about your poetry.

WCW: Of course. I’m always willing to talk about my art.

MI: Good. I want to discuss one poem in particular.

WCW: Sure, which one?

MI: The Red Wheelbarrow. You’re most famous poem.  Let me quote it in full:  

so much depends

upon a red wheel barrow

glazed with rain water

beside the white chickens.

WCW: Yes. Yes. So much depends on that wheelbarrow.

[Pause]

MI:What the f*ck are you talking about?

[Pause]

WCW: Excuse me?

[Pause]

MI:What. The f*ck. Are you talking about?

WCW:  It’s a wheelbarrow.

[Pause]

WCW: And it’s red.

[Pause]

WCW: Glazed with rainwater beside chickens. White chickens.

[Pause]

MI: WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WCW: Hey I just write the stuff. It’s up to you to interpret it.

[Pause]

MI:  Seriously?

WCW: Like I said I’m just a conduit. The interpretation is up to others.

MI: You don’t even know what it means, do you?

WCW: No. I have no idea what it means. Haven’t a clue. Now about this streaming of lesbian porn. I’m curious. In my day we had to watch it dark theaters wearing sunglasses to protect our identity.

MI: Yeah, yeah, we’ll discuss that later. So you have no idea what the red wheelbarrow means?

WCW: Look I don’t even remember writing it. I was probably pretty high at the time.

MI: It’s your most famous poem.

WCW: I know. Thank god I’m dead and don’t have to read it anymore.

MI:Well that’s about all the time we have.

WCW: Wait what about streaming lesbian porn?

MI: So much depends upon lesbian porn glazed with rain water besides white chickens.

WCW: F*ck you.

You know I never realized dead people could be so cantankerous. Oh, and if anyone has a clue what that stupid poem means drop me a line.

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