The man with no name, the bounty hunter sometimes called “Blondie” has been asked to removed his poncho and give it back to the Mexican people.
“White men should not wear ponchos” said a spokesman for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Mexicans.
This is a white man. A bounty hunter. Like all white men he is a born killer. He kills because as a bounty hunter he is paid to kill. Typical of white people. Why can’t he wear what white people wear? Why must he defame an entire race, a race of color, by wearing a poncho? The poncho has a long and proud tradition among the Mexican peoples. If you see someone wearing a poncho do you say “Is he American?” No. You say “Poncho! He must be Mexican.” Indeed ponchos are the signature look of Mexicans. That and the guitars they carry to strum on the NYC subway to make a living. I ask that this man, Blondie, take his poncho off now and return it to the Mexican consulate in the New Mexico territory. It’s a question of social justice!
Indeed the hashtag #makeblondieremovehisponcho has begun trending on Twitter. Many Hollywood celebrities have joined the campaign to make Blondie take off his signature Mexican outfit.
“This is cultural appropriation at its worst” said comedienne Amy Schumer. “I’m so upset by this I may have to eat some donuts.”
“All white men should be rounded up and raped” said Joy Behar on The View.
“We must protect Mexicans from being culturally appropriated” co-host Whoopie Goldberg commented. Warming to her theme, Goldberg continued:
As a black woman I know a thing or two about cultural appropriation. Look at all the things the white man has stolen from us: The Pyramids, which were built by the black man. The Bible, which was inspired by African culture. And lets not forget Jews! I am a Jew. The Jews of the Bible were from sub-Saharan Africa! That is a fact. Look it up. As a person of color I call on Congress to protect the Mexican people and their cultural artifacts. If we have to we should segregate Mexicans into some sort of cultural ghetto where they will never again fear the white man stealing their ponchos!
Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto has announced a ban on cross-border poncho trade.
First the Yankees steal Texas. Then they steal California. Now they are stealing our ponchos. Reconquista! Reconquista our ponchos! We Mexicans care deeply about this. That and not being executed by drug gangs.
The object of the outrage, the man known as Blondie, had this to say about the poncho controversy:
“You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.”
No one knows exactly what he means by this but some suspect that the digging reference is in itself culturally appropriating the work of gravediggers.