Wonder Woman, one of the founding members of the Justice League, has petitioned the board of directors for permission to change her uniform to something “more demure.”
“I’m proud of my work in the Justice League” said Wonder Woman.
I’m proud to be associated with such fine people as the Green Lantern, the Flash, Batman and Superman. Not so much Aquaman. He’s a dork but he had loads of cash so we needed him to bankroll the League. We fight evil. We make the world safe. And that’s something I’m very proud to do. But this uniform? Not very practical. Do you know how much time I waste every morning making sure my legs are shaved? I have to do that now. And we don’t always fight evil where it’s warm. When I’m battling evil and it’s cold my nipples poke out and are visible beneath my, well, breastplate. I don’t know. Perhaps that’s the reason they (the other Justice League members) chose this uniform for me. I hope not though.
Wonder Woman’s petition for a uniform change has sent a ripple of shock waves and panic throughout the halls of the Justice League
“What the hell. Does that bitch know what she’s going to do to us” said the Justice League’s Chief Financial Officer Batman.
Does she know anything about running a business? Of course not. She’s just a woman. There are significant startup costs. And then there is establishing the brand name. That’s where Wonder Woman’s outfit comes in. It’s supposed to titillate. She has a nice rack so why not use it to our advantage? People see her and say, “Oh yeah, she’s from that Justice League I’ve heard about.” And that’s how we get business. They remember her in the revealing outfit, remember she’s with the Justice League and then use us for their evil-fighting needs. It’s nothing personal about it. I respect Wonder Women. She’s great at fighting evil. She also is an attractive woman with a nice body. I’m just using our available assets. I will be voting against the uniform change. If she starts wearing something less revealing or, god forbid, a pantsuit, we will be bankrupt in a matter of months.
The vote will be taken next week with Batman, Superman, the Flash and the Green Lantern expected to vote against the change. Only Aquaman is leaning towards a yes vote. (The Martian Manhunter, while technically a member, does not have voting rights.)
“I’ll vote for the uniform change” said Aquaman.
As a gay underwater fighter for social justice I am sensitive to gender roles and societal-imposed constructs. Besides I think she will look good in a pantsuit. Very manly,
As for Wonder Woman herself she says she would be content to wear her current outfit if not for the fact that she has recently entered into a relationship with former Major League Baseball player, David Justice.
“His last name is Justice and that is so cool. And he gets me. He really understands me. But he gets jealous and wants me to show off less flesh. I love him. What can I do?”