Browsing the blog archives for June, 2017

Doctor McCoy Admits He’s Actually a Mechanic!

Scandal has rocked the staid world aboard the Enterprise as the ship’s chief medical officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy announced that he has no training in medicine and is in fact a mechanic back on Earth. McCoy was first unmasked when Star Fleet asked him to renew his credentials. “He just looked at me and said […]




My Exclusive Interview With Jeff Zucker

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing the head of CNN, Jeff Zucker. As many of you many of you may know CNN is currently embroiled in a scandal involving a story they ran on a Russian investment fund with ties to Trump officials. The story has since proven false and those […]




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My Exclusive Interview with Johnny Depp

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing A-list Hollywood actor and heartthrob Johnny Depp. MI:  Good afternoon Mr. Depp. JD: When was the last time an actor assassinated a president? MI: Um, 1865. Why? JD: I think we need to do it again. MI: Are you calling for the assassination of President […]




A History of FBI Briefings (As Composed by the Impartial Hand of Manhattan Infidel)

By now many have had a chance to review the FBI’s findings on the shooting of Republican congressman Steve Scalise. Even though the shooter had a paper with the names of Republican congressman, even though he staked out the ballfield for days beforehand, even though he asked if a Republican or Democratic team was practicing […]




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Yankees Defeat Rangers After Two Hour Rain Delay in Extra Innings in The Battle of the Japanese Superstars!

“So one of my supporters shot a Republican. Russian interference in our election will do that” ~ Bernie Sanders Coming off a recent rough patch where they lost eight out of nine games the Yankees started a homestand against the Texas Rangers Friday night. It was the battle of the Japanese superstars as the Yankees […]




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Dracula Fired From Position as Emergency Medical Technician!

Count Dracula, visitor from exotic eastern Europe, his life rapidly spiraling out control, lost another job today. This marks two jobs lost since his earlier aborted stint in rehab. “What can I say? I shouldn’t have hired him in the first place but I felt sorry for him” said the EMT supervisor. He told me […]




World Watches in Horror as Georgia’s 6th Congressional District Doesn’t Vote for Candidate Their Hollywood Masters Told Them to Vote For!

With the eyes of the world upon it and with the chance to prove that they weren’t ignorant red necks, Georgia’s 6th Congressional District instead voted for a woman. In Hollywood, the masters of America reacted angrily to the loss. “What the hell is wrong with America?” asked  director Josh Whedon. Hillary Clinton was right. […]




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Dracula Fired From Job as Night Counterperson at 24 Hour 7-Eleven!

Count Dracula, recently out of rehab and seeking to get back on his feet, was fired today from his job as night counterperson at 7-Eleven. The Count has only been working at 7-Eleven for a couple of weeks and seemed to be doing a good job before his abrupt termination. “I really hated to let […]




Lieutenant Kojak Accused of Sexual Harassment!

Lieutenant Theo Kojak of Manhattan’s 11th precinct has come under fire for repeated allegations of sexual harassment.  Kojak was once considered a rising star in the NYPD. If true, these allegations could derail the detective’s career. According to reports Lt. Kojak has been placed on modified assignment while the investigation is ongoing. “We’ve had our […]




Count Dracula Enters Rehab!

Count Dracula, visiting these shores from exotic eastern Europe, has entered rehab to treat his overwhelming thirst for blood. Those who know the Count say that, while he was always eccentric, he had recently starting asking them if they knew of any underground “blood parties.” “We didn’t want to say anything” said one friend. He’s […]