Bullying Yankees Defeat Crying Nats!

“I like to think of whores like Russian collusion: I do it because I want to” ~ Babe Ruth, 1928

All that Russian collusion!









On an abnormally mild night in June in the Bronx the first place Yankees started their  homestand against the Washington Senators Montreal Expos Nationals.

The Yankees started Carsten Charles Sabathia (4-1 3.27) and the Nats countered with Tanner “No this is my real name not my porn name” Roark (3-7 3.63).

The Yankees scored first in the bottom of the second when Sir Didi Gregorious, knighted citizen of The Netherlands  hit a home run to right centerfield.  Aaron “Not Judge” Hicks then walked and when to third on Neil Walker’s single. He then scored on Austine Romine’s (the Yankee catcher not hitting under .200) sacrifice fly.  2-0 Yankees after two innings.

In the bottom of the sixth Sir Didi homered a second time.  3-0 Yankees after six.

And that was the final score.

Notes on the game:

The Yankees entered the game with the best record in baseball. How much credit does new manager Aaron Boone get?  None in my opinion. They would have had that record even if Joe Girardi were the manager.

I liked Girardi and I wish the Yankees had retained him. I guess it’s true. Every manager gets a decade before they become ineffective. Casey Stengel was the unknown baseball genius who won five world series in a row when hired then only two the next seven years and when the Yankes got rid of him he was a clown and the Yankees had grown tired of his act. Joe Torre had the right relaxed personality to handle the Yankee circus and won 4 championships in his first five years. Then none after that. When the Yankees got rid of him he was passive Joe, sleeping in the dugout. Joe Girardi had the in-game management skills that Torre didn’t. But a decade later he was tense Joe who couldn’t communicate.

It is the annual HOPE week at the stadium. Today they honored teen girls victims of bullying and had them throw out the first pitch. Needless to say their pitches were awful.  I yelled “You suck! You throw like a girl!” They started crying and said I was bullying them. They later committed suicide.

Best heckle of the game:

I tried but my heckle of “The girls who threw out the first ball are a disgrace. They should blow their brains out” did not inspire anybody. I guess the Yankee crowd is just anti-bullying. I blame Putin.

Ironically the Yankees bullied Bryce Harper, hitting him twice. After the second hit by pitch he was taken from the game.

Reader  mail:

A.P. of Poughkeepsie writes “Well – well the world must turn upon its axis, and all mankind turns with it, head or tails, and live and die, make love and pay our taxes, and as the veering wind shifts, shift our sails; the king commands us and the doctor quacks us, the priest instructs us and so our life exhales, a little breath, love, wine, ambition, fame, fighting, devotion, love – perhaps a name.”

Um. Are you high son?

C.H.E. of alligator-infested Florida writes, “Thus parents also are at times shortsighted; though watchful as the lynx they ne’er discover, the while the wicked world beholds delighted , Young Hopeful’s mistress or Miss Fanny’s lover, till some confounded escaped has blighted the plan of 20 years and all is over; and then the mother cries, the father swears and wonders why the devil he got heirs.”

You’re high too, aren’t you?

Confederate spy M.P.A. writes, “No more will I count over, link by link my chain of grief; no longer strive to find a half-forgetfulness in mountain wind blustering about my ears.” 

Is everyone high tonight?

Recommended reading material:  Waco: A Survivor’s Story by David Thibodeau.  Because the United States Government, like all totalitarian regimes, will not hesitate to kill you.

My record stands at 2-0 this year.  My next game is Thursday June 21st against the Seattle Mariners.

Go Yankees!



4 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    I was worried that the “plunk Harper twice, please” check I mailed to the Yankees wouldn’t clear before game time. Thankfully your banks handled it promptly.

  2. LSP says:

    What an excellent post, even though you quoted the RACIST and NAZI so-called “Keats.”

    Salt tears? I should say so.

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