Browsing the blog archives for May, 2018

Mueller Indicts Barron Trump!

            Closing in on his ultimate target of President Donald Trump and his collusion with Russia during the 2016 campaign, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller today President Trump’s 12-year-old son Barron Trump for money laundering. “We have evidence that Barron Trump has received and continues to receive five dollars each week […]

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Oompa Loompa Punched in Face; Told to “Shut the Hell Up!”

            New York City has once again fallen victim to a hate crime, an all too common event in this age of Trump after NYPD officers were called to a Starbucks in midtown responding to reports of  a disturbance. “When we arrived we saw an Oompa Loompa calmly sipping his Mocha […]

America Fellates Royal Couple!

            The once proud nation of the United States beclowned itself Saturday as they sat in rapture watching non-stop coverage of the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. “This is the greatest thing to happen to America since our Royal wedding of Chelsea Clinton to her husband” said an […]

Batman and Robin Killed in ATF Standoff!

          Unpopular and mistrusted masked vigilantes Batman and Robin were killed today by agents from the ATF after a tense 53-day standoff. “It appears they both burned to death after the Batcave caught fire” said the ATF agent in charge of the standoff. Since this standoff started in March our top […]

Kathryn Janeway Named Least Popular Star Fleet Captain in the Delta Quadrant!

                    The crew of the USS Voyager, stranded in the Delta Quadrant 70,000 light years from Earth, has voted their Captain, Kathryn Janeway, as “The Most Unpopular Captain in the History of Star Fleet Ever!” “The choice was pretty unanimous” said First Officer Chakotay (pictured here) […]

John McCain Admits He Gave Dossier on Manhattan Infidel to FBI!

                John McCain (Dying, bitter, uncharitable and petty-AZ) admitted today that it was he who gave an unverified, salacious dossier on wildly popular unknown blogger Manhattan Infidel to James Comey in 2016. “I agreed to receive a copy of the dossier on Manhattan Infidel” writes McCain (Dying, bitter, […]

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My Exclusive Interview With a Woman Who Fakes Orgasms on Camera for Money!

            Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of the House of Truth otherwise known as Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing Stormy Daniels. Now if you do not know who Stormy Daniels is all you need to know is that she f*cks on camera for money.  And if you […]

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Annoying FIOS Kid Murdered!

            A local youth known only as “That pain in the ass FIOS kid” was found dead after he was reported missing by his parents. “The body was mutilated” said the sheriff. His eyes were cut out and his penis was cut off. He was also dressed in woman’s clothing. […]

McGruff the Crime Dog Wanted for Questioning in Series of Bombings!

              Disgraced and now ball-less former crime fighter McGruff is wanted by the FBI for questioning after a series of terrorist attacks struck the heartland of America. “We are declaring McGruff, formerly known as the ‘Crime Dog’ a person of interest” said FBI director Christopher Wray. The actions of […]

McGruff the Crime Dog Forcibly Sterilized!

              Disgraced former crime fighter McGruff the crime dog’s reputation took a further hit today after he was forcibly sterilized in a last ditch attempt to cure his “wide pooping.” “This is a sad day for all fans of McGruff” said the doctor who performed the sterilization. Every time […]