Browsing the blog archives for May, 2018
Ensign Pavel Chekov of the Starship Enterprise has been charged with gross dereliction of duty after it was found that he was suffering from an advanced extraterrestrial venereal disease. Sources report that suspicions were first raised about Chekov’s medical condition during a routine physical with chief medical […]
Lieutenant Commander Spock of the Starship Enterprise has lodged a formal grievance with Star Fleet over their new Windows 10 laptops given to all officers. “I mean come on. Windows 8 was bad enough. But this crap” said the logical and unemotional Vulcan First Officer. Windows 8 sucked. […]
Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the honor of interviewing Hollywood legend and Academy-award winning actor Morgan Freeman. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Freeman. MF: I’m excited to talk to you. I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s […]
Seeking “peace in our time” NFL owners have voted to allow players to stay in the locker room during the playing of the National Anthem. “This is a great moment for America” said one NFL owner after the vote was announced. As we’ve watched our profit margin tumble and […]
In light of a recent incident in Philadelphia where two black men were kicked out of their store for not buying anything, popular though shitty chain Starbucks has announced a new policy. “We are a welcoming shitty coffee community” said Starbuck’s CEO Kevin Johnson. And as a community of […]
Closing in on his ultimate target of President Donald Trump and his collusion with Russia during the 2016 campaign, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller today President Trump’s 12-year-old son Barron Trump for money laundering. “We have evidence that Barron Trump has received and continues to receive five dollars each week […]
New York City has once again fallen victim to a hate crime, an all too common event in this age of Trump after NYPD officers were called to a Starbucks in midtown responding to reports of a disturbance. “When we arrived we saw an Oompa Loompa calmly sipping his Mocha […]
The once proud nation of the United States beclowned itself Saturday as they sat in rapture watching non-stop coverage of the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. “This is the greatest thing to happen to America since our Royal wedding of Chelsea Clinton to her husband” said an […]
Unpopular and mistrusted masked vigilantes Batman and Robin were killed today by agents from the ATF after a tense 53-day standoff. “It appears they both burned to death after the Batcave caught fire” said the ATF agent in charge of the standoff. Since this standoff started in March our top […]
The crew of the USS Voyager, stranded in the Delta Quadrant 70,000 light years from Earth, has voted their Captain, Kathryn Janeway, as “The Most Unpopular Captain in the History of Star Fleet Ever!” “The choice was pretty unanimous” said First Officer Chakotay (pictured here) […]