Get busy grabbing p*ssy

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the honor of interviewing Hollywood legend and Academy-award winning actor Morgan Freeman.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Freeman.

MF:  I’m excited to talk to you. I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

MI: You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?

MF:  No shit, Sherlock.

MI: Let’s talk about  your career. When you were growing up in Mississippi did you ever hope for the success you have now? 

MF:  Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.

MI: Everyone needs hope.

MF: I don’t know; every man has his breaking point.

MI: Speaking of breaking points. You’ve just been fingered by the #metoo movement as a serial abuser and harasser of women on movie sets. Is this true?

MF: Get busy living or get busy dying.

MI:  I’m sorry. What?

MF: Get busy living or get busy dying. I prefer to get busy living. That’s why I lifted her skirt up and grabbed her p*ssy.

MI: What?  So you admit it?

MF: That’s goddamn right!  I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. Like my penis. It was not meant to be caged. My penis is so beautiful it can’t be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it.  My penis is like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Hollywood felt free. All because of my penis.

MI: Um.

[Harvey Weinstein enters] 

Get in the hut tub!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HW: Manhattan Infidel would you like to get into a hot tub with me?

MF: Get busy living, Manhattan Infidel.

HW: Come on. Don’t embarrass me like this. Just get in the hot tub. My name’s Harvey and I’m a big white rabbit. And by big white rabbit I mean my penis.

MI: No. I am not getting into the hot tub with you. I am a respected member of the press.

[Tom Brokaw enters] 

Let’s have fun

 

 

 

 

 

 

TB: Speaking of respected members of the press, let me massage your shoulders, Manhattan Infidel.

MI: Why are you doing this?

TB:I want a mutually beneficial relationship. Now sit down on the couch next to me so I can touch you.

[Bill Cosby enters] 

Young kids and their hippin’ and their hoppin’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BC: I slipped something into your drink, Manhattan Infidel. If you feel like lying down I have a bed for you.

MF: Get busy passing out, Manhattan Infidel.

[Manhattan Infidel passes out]

I woke up later in an alley without my pants or my wallet. The last thing I remember was the four of them smiling at me.  I’m sure nothing bad happened. After all, if you can’t trust actors, producers and newsmen who can you trust?

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