Browsing the blog archives for April, 2018

Matt Lauer: Tom Brokaw Sexually Harassed Me!

            NBC news was hit with another scandal this week as it was learned that Tom Brokaw has been accused of sexual harassment by none other than disgraced former NBC Today Show host Matt Lauer. In a series of videotaped interviews that took place over a course of months, Lauer […]

Kate Blanchett Gets Penis Facial!

              When news first broke that Kate Blanchett and several other Hollywood stars including Sandra Bullock were getting so-called “penis facials” Americans naturally had questions. Can anyone offer their sperm to Kate Blanchett? Is the sperm regulated? What about our strategic sperm reserves? Given my duty as a blogger […]

DNC Sues Adam!

          The Democratic National Committee today filed a lawsuit against the first man, Adam, claiming he “did willingly collude with the Devil to thwart human nature, directly leading to sin, the establishment of the Republican Party, collusion with Russia and the election of Donald Trump in 2016.” “We are a serious […]

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Manhattan Infidel Reviews David Hogg’s New Book!

            Today at the unstoppable journalistic juggernaut that is Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of reviewing the new gun control manifesto by America’s sweetheart, Stormy Daniels David Hogg. I found the book to be an engaging, relatable read and I will now quote a few relevant sections. “The Constitution of […]

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Mystery Machine Plunges off Cliff!

            The end came today for the Mystery Machine and its colorful denizens when the van plunged off a cliff on the coast of California and fell 100 feet, killing all its occupants. “We had been tracking the mystery machine for some time” said a local sheriff. We didn’t approve […]

Four Killed at Mass Shooting at Waffle House; Manhattan Infidel Looks at the Facts and Only the Facts Because to Speculate Would be Irresponsible Then Again I am a Member of the MSM so Screw It I’m Speculating!

            Four have been killed after a deadly mass shooting at a Waffle House in Nashville, Tennessee. Here are the facts as I have painstakingly gathered is some totally made up shit that I will use to control the narrative. Early Sunday morning Donald Trump, on orders from the National Rifle […]

Mueller Raids Offices of Tom Hagen!

                    The Special Prosecutor’s investigation into Russian Interference in the 2016 Presidential election heated up today as detectives raided the office of well-known attorney for the Corleone crime family, Tom Hagen. “This is an outrage” said Hagen. Whatever happened to attorney-client privilege. I have one client […]

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Manhattan Infidel Presents the Transcript of the Interrogation of President Trump’s Lawyer Michael Cohen

            In the week since President Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen had his office raided in search of evidence of Russian collusion many have speculated as to what was found. Rest assured dear readers I have been busy trying to find out what was collected. I now present (and don’t […]

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Manhattan Infidel Reviews “A Higher Loyalty” by the Secular Saint James Comey

            Having two days off from work Manhattan Infidel did what he normally does on days off: I went over to my window, opened it and shouted “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”  I kept yelling that until neighbors called the police. Then I read a book […]

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Your {Revised} {Revised} {Revised} and Extended NFL Malfeasance Template AKA The I’ll Keep Kneeling That’ll Show Whitey Template™

            In the grand scheme of things an NFL player beating the crap out of his wife is a rare event, like a keyboardist for the Grateful Dead dying. No seriously. It hardly ever happens. Except all the times it does happen. But it only happens because of racial prejudice. […]