Manhattan Infidel Reviews David Hogg’s New Book!

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23

Man when will my pubes descend?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today at the unstoppable journalistic juggernaut that is Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of reviewing the new gun control manifesto by America’s sweetheart, Stormy Daniels David Hogg.

I found the book to be an engaging, relatable read and I will now quote a few relevant sections.

“The Constitution of the United States was never meant to apply to modern people. It is old and dated and needs to be thrown out and replaced. Guns are everywhere and they are bad. It is time for the f*cking adults who have screwed up this country to stand aside and let the children lead. Those who will not let me lead shall be banished to the corn field.

Page 25

“I’m really worried that I haven’t developed pubes yet. All the other boys in my class have pubes but I’m still smooth down there. And smoothness leads to chafing. And chafing leads to active shooters at high schools.  #pubesforpeace!  #guncontrolforthepubeless!”

Page 58

“So I went to the doctor and he told me that I haven’t gotten my pubes yet because my testicles have not fully descended into my ball sack. This is embarrassing. No one wants to go to the prom with a pubeless, testicles not fully descended into the ball sack freak. I blame the NRA. They are terrorists.”

Page 65

“I went to Hollywood today and had lunch with a lot of A listers who have been funding my efforts to overturn the bill of rights. Charlie Sheen even invited me to his house. He insisted on sleeping in the same bed with me. I don’t mind. It was fun. Kinda like camping. I just wish he would stop sticking his dick in my ass. Come on Charlie! Haven’t you ever heard of lube?”

Page 121

“I gave a big speech today in front of a huge crowd. Everyone was cheering. Especially when I called the NRA terrorists. Yet all the time I was speaking I could feel the uncomfortable chafing of my hairless pubes against my not fully descended into the ball sack testicles. This chafing is driving me crazy and making me very angry. Angry enough to get an AR-15 (a weapon of war by the way that no civilian needs) and go on a shooting spree. Charlie Sheen was waiting for me after the speech. Said he has something very important to tell me.”

Page 203

“Laura Ingraham is blonde. I like blondes. But I bet she only dates men who have pubes and whose testicles are fully descended. Life isn’t fair. So I called for a boycott of her sponsors. That will show her to ignore me! I will not be ignored! My hairless not fully descended testicles shall not be mocked! Fuck the NRA!”

Page 236

“I met with Charlie Sheen today. He says he is HIV positive and apologized for sticking his dick in my ass. We then made love. Our bodies glistening with sweat. Two men enjoying each other without shame or judgment. He looked me right in the eyes and said “I’m Charlie Sheen. I have tiger blood and I’m fucking your hairless not fully descended into the ball sack pubes.”  Um, my publisher says that last bit will probably not be in the final version of the book.  Too bad. I love Charlie Sheen. He understands me and my missing pubes.”

Page 253

I hear he is writing a sequel, “Mein Gun Control Kampf”

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Infidel, it is your duty as a citizen to OBEY your betters.

    Report youraelf for reeducation. Immediayely.

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