Browsing the blog archives for April, 2018
Overnight on Friday, the United States, Britain and France instituted air strikes on Syria in retaliation for alleged chemical attacks by the Syrian regime on its people. Since the strike I have had to field many questions from my readers. Who am I kidding I have no readers and the […]
As part of his ongoing probe into Russian collusion in the 2016 Presidential election Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller today indicted a fourth grade student from LaGrange, New York. “We got the bastard dead in our sights” said a member of the Special Prosecutor’s office. This kid did a book […]
Longtime Department of the Interior employee Smokey the Bear’s remains were found in a heavily burned out area of Acadia National Park in Northeast Maine yesterday, ending a week-long search for his body. “This is a sad day for all of us” said a rescuer. We had hoped […]
Protocol droid C-3PO met a horrific end today as a crowd of starving Venezuelans attacked, dismembered and melted him down to exchange his gold on the black market for food. “C-3PO was a compassionate droid” said his longtime friend Luke Skywalker. That’s why he was […]
Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the Starship Enterprise has been stripped of his command and ordered to report to Star Fleet to give account of the many crewmen who have died under his watch. Kirk maintains that the high death rate under his command is unavoidable. “Look […]
In the week since Nasim Aghdam opened fire at Youtube’s headquarters America has once again had to confront its dark past of unfettered veganism. Many questions have been asked. Why does this keep happening? What can we do to stop it? Damn the NRA and white men! […]
Embattled and unpopular President John Quincy Adams, the son of embattled and unpopular President John Adams had his Presidency further tarnished when he was caught swimming naked in the Potomac River. “I was whipping my slave when I caught sight of the President taking his clothes off by […]
Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi has stepped down from his position in the Jedi order after a series of disturbing sexual harassment allegations against him came to light. “It has come to our attention that Mr. Kenobi has allegedly acted inappropriately” said the Jedi Order’s Director of Human Relations. The […]