Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Syrian Civil War Airstrike Primer™

Chicago. No wait, Detroit. Syria?






Overnight on Friday, the United States, Britain and France instituted air strikes on Syria in retaliation for alleged chemical attacks by the Syrian regime on its people.

Since the strike I have had to field many questions from my readers.  Who am I kidding I have no readers and the only calls I get on the weekend are from Domino’s telling me my pizza is on the way.

And so since my mission statement mentions the “free flow of information” it also mentions pizza, body oil and sex chairs but hey who’s keeping score  I will now try to answer any questions you may have about the air strike.

Q:  Why did we bomb Syria?

A:  We bombed Syria in retaliation for chemical weapons of mass destruction the barbaric Syrian regime used on its people. And we bombed Syria because bombing California would be in bad taste. We have to wait until California officially secedes to do that.

Q:  Why are chemical weapons considered so barbaric?

A:  They are weapons of mass destruction.

Q:  But can’t conventional weapons be considered weapons of mass destruction as well? After all what difference does it make to the dead if they are killed by a bomb or a chemical weapon?

A:  Conventional weapons are more polite.

Q:  But the Syrian regime has been bombing its citizens for years now. Its major cities are piles of rubble. Granted not as big a pile of rubble as Detroit but still bad enough. And we stood by and did nothing. Why intervene now?

A:  You’re colluding with Russia, aren’t you?  Wait until Robert Mueller gets his paws into you.  Bastard!

Q:  Is Alan Cumming from the Good Wife really gay?

A:  Yes.

Q:  But he gives off such a heterosexual vibe!

A;  Chemical weapons.

Q: What about Ricky Martin?

A:  Gay.

Q:  Rob Halford from Judas Priest?

A:  Gay.

Q;  Wow. So chemical weapons are really bad, aren’t they?

A:  Totally.

Q: Well you’ve certainly made your case. We must bomb Syria in retaliation for chemical weapons.You mentioned California seceding. When that happens we will bomb them obviously. Do you think California has a stockpile of chemical weapons?

A: No but Alan Cumming lives in California.

Q:  The bastard!  Well you’ve sold me. We need to bomb, bomb and bomb again!

A:  All good Americans love the sting of battle.

Q:  Thank you again for enlightening me.

And so readers I’m sure you will now all agree with me that bombing Syria was totally the right call.



2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Infidel, I was a bit worried about us acting as Al Qaeda’s airforce and bombing Syria to help the White Helmeted Jihad.

    But now I’m not. What’s the big deal? It’s not like Syria’s as bad as Detroit or anything.

    Maybe we should bomb that too, and California.

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