Cookie Monster Blasts Sesame Street

Sesame street lies!

Sesame street lies!

In shocking entertainment news, Sesame Street today announced that they are ending their long association with the Cookie Monster.

Tracked down to his favorite watering hole on 3rd avenue, Cook, as his friends call him relaxed over a Coors Lite with a lime while he told his side of the story.

They say my demographics don’t appeal to the kids anymore”  he said.  “That’s bulls—!  The kids love me.  They are just trying to save money.”

“I know how this business works.  I’ve been at Sesame Street for over 40 years and now they want to bring in someone younger.   Someone cheaper.  That’s what this whole  s— is about.”

He then gave the sorrowful litany of how things have changed at “The Street.”

“We used to have management that cared – cared about us and the product.  We used to do stories that taught lessons.  Do you know what they want us to do now?  Promote Red Bull!  It’s all about profit.  Penny pinching sons of bitches that’s what they are.”

At this point he picked up the fruit basket that had been given to him by Sesame Street management and drop kicked it, hitting an Albanian bartender in the head.  “What the hell am I going to do now? I lost most of my 401K the past couple of months and I’m too young to  join the Rolling Stones.  I’m going to get drunk tonight and throw up on a stranger.  Tomorrow……”  and here he could not go on, burying his head and sobbing quietly.

Over at Sesame Street, management released a statement that said “In these tough economic times difficult choices must be made.  We deeply appreciate the Cookie Monster’s 40 years of service to us but we feel that it is time to move on.  We wish him the best of luck in the future.”


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