Blogger has Few Friends, Little Social Life

An obessed blogger ignores friends and familyJeremy Rogers is not your typical 24 year old old male.  On a Saturday night, Jeremy can be found sitting in front of his computer posting to his blog.

“For years I’ve been obsessed with Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.  And now I’ve turned that love into a blog” he said while eating a bagel with cream cheese at a local coffee bar.

Belonging to several online dating services, Jeremy often asks his dates to meet him at the coffee bar.  “Sometimes I never even look at my dates when I’m talking to them.  I’m so into blogging.”  When asked what his date’s response is Jeremy says “Well, usually they leave after about 10 minutes.  And I don’t understand that.  I thought women found male obsession with cartoons to be ‘childlike and endearing.’ “

Jeremy’s obessions predate his blogging.   Voted “Least likely to know the touch of a woman” in high school,  he would often stay at home with VHS copies of his favorite cartoons. “I would call up friends of  mine and tell my theories about the cartoons, like how I think  Wile E. Coyote represents the independent trucker and the Road Runner is a managment thug.  Sometimes my friends would get upset with me because they had their girlfriends in the room at the time. Eventually they stopped taking my calls.”

After graduating college with a degree in Metal Shop, Jeremy moved back in with his mother.   “I haven’t been able to get a job yet.  Having no job has its advantages though.  I have more time to devote to my blog.  When asked how many visitors he gets Jeremy said “I’ve never had anyone actually leave a comment on my site and when I check the weekly statistics it shows no visitors.  But that’s got to be wrong obviously.”

According to figures at the National Institutes of Health, blog obsession, or “Blosession” is a rising problem that has destroyed lives, marriages and careers.  According to a booklet published by the NIH there is no cure or hope.  Once someone gets “blosessed” they lose interest in social interaction, with the predictable denouement being a career in the Post Office or Department of Motor Vehicles.

Jeremy does seem to be the classic case of a blosessed male, providing the following examples:

My mother is worried about me.  She keeps bringing prostitutes over so I can have experience with a woman but I tell her ‘Mom, please I’m blogging.’ “

“I used to hang out at this bar by me and sit by the jukebox  shouting ‘beep beep’ but the bartenders told me never to come back.  They thought I had turrets.”

“I used to volunteer at a prison.  These were tough characters…..rapists, murderers, pet murderers, pet rapists….but once they found out I had a blog they petitioned the warden to never have me back.”

Those who feel their loved ones may be falling into the same obessions as Jeremy are advised to contact the NIH immediately.


One Response

  1. Hi, thank you so a great deal for these ideas!

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