Browsing the blog archives for January, 2016

Congress Passes Bassist Neutrality Act

Fresh on the heels of Net Neutrality Congress today passed the “Bassist Neutrality Act.” “This bill will go a long way towards fixing groupie inequality in America” declared House Speaker Paul Ryan, Groupie inequality is a civil rights issue that affects the quality of life of bassists throughout our land. For too long bassists have […]

My Exclusive Interview with Mark Ruffalo

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing Mark Ruffalo.  I must admit I never have seen any of his movies but I’m told he’s a famous actor. And because he’s famous and an actor his opinions matter. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Ruffalo. MR: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.  No doubt you are a […]

Blofeld Fires Entire Staff; Hires Contractors

Ernest Stavros Blofeld, regional director of the global criminal organization Spectre today fired his entire staff and replaced them with contractors. “I don’t have to tell you that my project is expensive” said the criminal mastermind. Hiring astrophysicists from NASA and Russia, buying rocket fuel, building rockets, hollowing out a volcano and building my headquarters, none […]

Danny Devito to Produce Biopic of Martin Luther King Jr; George Clooney to Play MLK

Hoping to end criticism that Hollywood is a racist and lily-white community, Danny Devito announced that he will be filming a biography of noted civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. Speaking about the Oscars, Devito said, “It’s unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.” So it’s an example of the fact that even though […]

Snowpocalypse Hits New York!

The snow started Friday evening and continued until Midnight on Sunday.  When it was finished Gotham had 29 1/2 inches of snow, making it the second biggest storm in New York City history. Being a member of the MSM I stayed up without sleep for the duration of the storm just so I can report the […]

Elephant Man Scores With Speed Dating!

Long used to being alone, the Elephant Man has seen a marked increase in his social circle thanks to speed dating. “I got tired of spending Saturday nights alone” he said. There are plenty of young available women at work. But I didn’t have any luck with them. I would try to talk them up […]

Hollywood Green Lights Bernie Sanders Biopic

It has been announced that a major motion picture biography of Bernie Sanders is in the works and will begin filming soon. “Bernie may be our next president” said a studio executive. Regardless of whether he wins or not he is one of the greatest heroes in American history. His story is the story of […]

Helen of Troy Changes Facebook Status to “It’s Complicated”

Helen of Troy, wife of King Menelaus, current paramour of Paris and reportedly the most beautiful woman in the world has officially changed her Facebook status from “married” to “It’s complicated.” “This has been coming for awhile” said a friend. While she is technically still married to Menelaus she’s spent the past couple years in […]

I lost My Virginity to Pete Best: Confessions of a Rock Groupie

The 1960s were the glory years for rock groupies. Change was in the air.  Change in music. Change in morals.  Rock groups touring the country began to take advantage of young girls who wanted to sleep with them. What follows are the stories of two women, whom I shall name C.H.E and L.T. for privacy’s sake. C.H.E […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Guide to Having an Acceptable Rape

Since the reports of mass rapes in Germany on New Year’s Eve many have asked me if it is possible that it wasn’t rape but just a case of cultural misunderstanding.  Are there situations where rape is acceptable? Having researched the problem I believe I have the answer to that question. There are reports of […]