Browsing the blog archives for February, 2016
Since I’m tired today and don’t feel like writing anything I have given the pages of Manhattan Infidel over to a guest blogger: Notes survivalist and star of Man Vs. Wild, Bear Grylls. Take it away Bear. Thank you Manhattan Infidel. I’m Bear Grylls. I’m going to show you what it takes to get out […]
Local residents were concerned when one of their own, a former cheerleader, returned from college radicalized. “I was shocked” said her neighbor. I’ve known her since she was a kid. Always sweet, cheerful and friendly. She and my daughter were varsity cheerleaders together. But when she came to see my daughter I held the door open […]
Tarzan and Jane, the world’s second most popular half-naked wild couple, behind only Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have announced that they are breaking up. “Tarzan love Jane. Tarzan all broke up” said Tarzan. Sources close to the super feral couple say that the breakup was long in coming and that it was Jane who […]
With the primary finally upon him, a badly trailing Jeb Bush, attempting to garner last minute votes, dropped by a local old age home to get out the vote. The lucky recipient of Bush’s visit was the New Hampshire Home for Veterans. Strolling confidently into the break room Bush addressed the assembled veterans. “My pledge to […]
Congratulations on your purchase! You are the proud owner of a MarcoBot 5000, the latest and greatest in robotic technology. We here at the MarcoBot Corporation feel confident in saying that your new robot will give you years of pleasure. However there are certain things you must know about your MarcoBot beforehand. Just follow our easy instructions […]
American take their politics very seriously. It is our religion and our political leaders are our priests. In keeping with the American love of rough and tumble politics I am pleased to interview Democratic candidate for president, Bernie Sanders. MI: Good afternoon Senator Sanders. BS: Your greeting to me is elitist. MI: Okay. So wishing you a good […]
Batman announced today that he will be changing where he gets his Bat Suit dry cleaned. “I bring my suit in twice a month to be cleaned” said the caped crusader. The suit gets dirty with all the fighting. It’s important I intimidate. And I can’t do that if my Bat Suit is wrinkled and dirty. […]
Staten Island Chuck did not see his shadow, thereby ensuring that Spring would arrive early. “No shadow. Alright. No f*cking shadow. Are you satisfied you f*cking humans” Chuck shouted at his adoring fans. Just get me back in my hole. I do this shit every year. Shadow, no shadow. I tell it as I see […]
Citing the need to strike “a balance” between the needs of its citizens and protecting a heretofore unknown species, Governor Jerry Brown ordered water from California reservoirs diverted to supply fresh water for the Creature from the Black Lagoon (the “Creature.”) “This is a difficult decision I did not make lightly” said Brown. Many farmers will […]
Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing the famous doll, Barbie. I want to thank Barbie for agreeing to be interviewed by me and I want to thank Mattel for not breaking my legs. MI: Good afternoon Barbie. It’s a pleasure to have you here. Barbie:Thank you. Do you […]