Browsing the blog archives for September, 2015

My Exclusive Interview with RoboCop

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing one of the most fascinating and controversial characters of the last quarter century. I am of course speaking about RoboCop. MI: Good afternoon RoboCop. RC: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.  Are you committing a crime. MI: What?  No. Not in months. So tell me.  What have you been doing […]

NASA to Update Message to Aliens

NASA announced today that any further messages sent into deep space in hopes of contacting alien life will be updated. “The old messages were disturbingly old fashioned” said NASA’s administrator, Charles Bolden. The earlier messages showed a lot of white men and an attitude of white privilege. Women were meek, submissive, oppressed by patriarchy and […]

Subway Hires New Spokesman: Bill Cosby!

With sales plummeting in lieu of the Jared Fogle scandal and in an attempt to revitalize their brand, the Subway restaurant chain announced today that its new spokesman will be veteran actor and comedian Bill Cosby. “We had to hire someone” said Subway CEO Fred DeLuca. I mean seriously. We had to hire someone.  Our […]

Caitlyn Jenner Fired From Her Job at Phone Sex Hotline

Former Olympian and self-identified female Caitlyn Jenner has been fired from her job as a phone sex operator after just one customer. “I don’t have to tell you that the years of hormone therapy were pretty expensive” said Caitlyn. I had to do something to pay the bills.  NBC was only paying me scale to […]

John Kasich Sworn in as President

Do you know what I love most about living in America?  Hookers.  Nothing says “I live in a free society” quite like paying a woman for sex. While on a meth binge.  After murdering someone. What? You mean people can read this? Anyway on to part ten (that’s X in Latin) of my series “2017 […]

She Hulk Deletes Tinder Account!

After a brief experiment with the social media site “Tinder”, She Hulk has told friends that she will be deleting her account “with extreme prejudice.” “Being a super hero is a busy life” said She Hulk. And I’m a lawyer too. It can be difficult to find the time to meet men. So one of my friends […]

President Obama Issues Executive Order Banning Alaskan Glaciers From Receding During Summer

Fresh off a triumphant trip to the Federally-owned protectorate of Alaska, where he stared down a glacier and appeared with Bear Grylls, President Obama today signed an executive order prohibiting all glaciers in Alaska from “summer time retrograde movements.” “I went to Alaska” declared the sun-tanned and heavily-muscled chief executive. I came.  I saw.  I […]

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From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: Miley Cyrus Annoys Drivers Along Side of Route 9

Dateline 2027 Former pop superstar Miley Cyrus was arrested today along route 9 in Dutchess County, New York, wearing provocative clothing and asking drivers to “honk if you want to twerk with me.” “We picked up Miss Cyrus and gave her a citation for suborning people to commit twerking” said a sheriff’s deputy. The arrest was […]

My Exclusive Interview with President William McKinley

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing none other than the 25th President of the United States, the honorable William McKinley. MI:Good afternoon Mr. President WM:Good day to you, sir. MI: So tell me, what is heaven like? WM:Heaven?  I don’t think I’m in heaven. MI:Oh, so you’re in the other place? WM: No. […]

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My Exclusive Interview with Humpty Dumpty

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™, the most trusted name in fake news, I have the honor of interviewing Mr. Humpty Dumpty, perhaps the best-known anthropomorphic egg in the English speaking world. MI: Good day Mr. Dumpty. HD: Good day to you, Mr. Infidel.  It’s a pleasure to be here. MI: Let’s begin with what everyone […]