From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: Miley Cyrus Annoys Drivers Along Side of Route 9

Honk if you want to twerk with me!

Honk if you want to twerk with me!

Dateline 2027

Former pop superstar Miley Cyrus was arrested today along route 9 in Dutchess County, New York, wearing provocative clothing and asking drivers to “honk if you want to twerk with me.”

“We picked up Miss Cyrus and gave her a citation for suborning people to commit twerking” said a sheriff’s deputy.

The arrest was just the latest in Cyrus’s fall from grace.

Once the top female pop star in the world she began to lose popularity after the networks went all nude in 2019.

“Times change. Tastes change” said a pop culture expert.

Once people could turn in and watch Matt Lauer naked nudity lost its shock value. Everybody was now naked.  And once everyone was naked all the time Miley lost her spot in the pop culture pantheon.  No one wanted to see an almost naked person when there was full frontal public nudity on television in front of them. Ironically Miley herself is the cause of her problems. Her erotic, semi-nude antics became very popular in the last decade. This caused the major networks to respond by upping the nudity quotient to improve their ratings.  And besides, Cyrus is 35 years old now and is not known to the younger generation who view her as someone their parents might have watched.

Cyrus first attempted to restart her career with a prime time show called “Almost Naked with Miley Cyrus.”

The theory behind this being, I think, that if everyone was now naked Cyrus would stand out by being almost naked. But it didn’t work out. People by this point demanded full frontal nudity so the show floundered in the ratings.

With her comeback vehicle cancelled Cyrus launched the “You Can Almost See My Pussy” tour of North America. As before the results were not what was hoped for.

She was heckled a lot. People were unforgiving of someone who wouldn’t show their private parts in public. Since everyone was naked, on TV, in the workplace, in bars and nightclubs she was considered “old school” and “not with it.”

After the tour failed Cyrus starred in movie “The Almost Naked Story of Mother Theresa.” The movie flopped at the box office.

She was hoping to restart her career by bringing in the right-wing religious audience. But it turns out these people didn’t want to see an almost naked Mother Theresa, or a full naked one either. I don’t know. Who understands these religious folk anyway.

After the movie was not the success she hoped Cyrus dropped out of sight.  Rumor had it she founded a community of almost naked former teen stars.

It wasn’t until today when she was spotted along route 9 holding a sign that said “For 30 dollars I’ll kiss your wife.  For 50 I’ll twerk with you” that she reentered the public consciousness.

One frightened teen driver asked police if twerking was a craft beer.

Cyrus was given a bench ticket and released on her own recognizance.

“This is a respectable, conservative, nude county” said the sheriff. “And no almost naked person is going to disrupt the morning commute”


5 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Had she twerked almost naked while menstruating her poster would be on my bedroom ceiling.

  2. Yep.
    I thought she could do her girl next door thing pretty well, though. I’m afraid she now thinks she’s hot.

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