Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing none other than the 25th President of the United States, the honorable William McKinley.
MI:Good afternoon Mr. President
WM:Good day to you, sir.
MI: So tell me, what is heaven like?
WM:Heaven? I don’t think I’m in heaven.
MI:Oh, so you’re in the other place?
WM: No. I don’t think I’m there either.
MI: Describe your surroundings.
WM: It’s very cold. There’s lots of snow and there is absolutely nothing to do.
MI: Okay so you’re in upstate New York. Tell me, what is your proudest achievement as President.
WM: I’d have to say winning the Spanish American war and keeping America on the gold standard.
MI: The gold standard?
WM: Yes. Our currency must always be backed by gold. If it isn’t you’re inviting runaway inflation. But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. Americans wouldn’t be stupid enough to abandon the gold standard.
MI: Actually we have a fiat currency now.
WM: What the fuck?
MI: What do you think your legacy will be?
WM: I don’t care. I’m dead. As long as I can look out at Mt. McKinley I’ll rest content.
MI: Um.
WM: What?
MI: Well it’s been renamed. It’s not Mt. McKinley anymore. It’s called Denali.
WM: What the fuck? First you get rid of the gold standard then congress renames a mountain named after me?
MI: Actually congress didn’t do it. The President ordered it.
WM: The President? He doesn’t have the power to do that.
MI: Yes he does. He’s a constitutional scholar so he knows more about the Constitution than anybody.
WM: What’s his name?
MI: Barack Obama.
WM: Polish?
MI: No he’s black.
WM: Oh. so he’s a Republican.
MI: No he’s a Democrat.
WM: What the fuck? When did blacks become Democrats? Don’t they know the Democrats are the plantation owners?
MI: I don’t think they care.
WM: First you get rid of the gold standard. Then you rename my mountain. And now blacks are voting for the party that kept them in chains?
MI: That about sums it up.
WM: I give up. It’s back to whiskey and hookers.
MI: Our time is about up. Anything you’d like to tell my readers?
WM: Avoid Buffalo.
MI: Why is that?
WM: I was shot and killed in Buffalo. By a Polish man.
MI: Tough break.
WM: I guess it could be worse. I could have been shot in Cleveland. Do you want to spend eternity in Cleveland?
MI: No. Anyway I want to thank you for agreeing to this interview.
WM: It was my pleasure. Oh, and if you see Teddy Roosevelt tell him his mustache makes him look gay.
MI: I will do that. Goodbye.
WM: Denali, eh?
MI: Yes.
WM: What the fuck?
And that concludes my interview with a crestfallen William McKinley.
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President McKinley, Rex Ryan, whose to be banished next to America’s Elba?
Christians?
linked here: http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2015/09/first-you-get-rid-of-gold-standard-then.html