Browsing the blog archives for January, 2011
As rioting extended into its second week with over 100 Egyptians killed, onlookers from around the world wondered if Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak will be able to hold onto power. A tense nation looked on as extra military were deployed to stop the rioters, disaffected youth. Many asked if it would be enough? After 30 […]
In a tough and forward looking State of the Union speech, President Barack Obama reminded Americans of the challenges this country faces, including our debt. Accordingly, President Obama laid out a series of proposals that would cut spending dramatically. Among the planned cuts: When flying home to their congressional district aboard a private, government-owned jet, […]
Following the tragic events last weekend in California where popular game show host Wink Martindale became inundated with radioactive isotopes after consuming a contaminated six pack of Bud Lite, the Department of Homeland Security has released a Threat Level Assessment Chart concerning Mr. Martindale. After consuming the six pack Martindale grew to 30 feel tall […]
When I started this humble blog in 2009 I had two goals in mind: To give an outlet to my voice and to prevent Megyn Kelly from escaping from my place, where I had her tied to the bed. Unfortunately, I was successful in only one of my objectives. Sure, I could fill the void […]
On Sunday, January 23rd, famous “fitness” legend Jack LaLanne died of pneumonia at his home in Morro Bay, California. I put fitness in quotes because as my extensive investigation will show, Mr. LaLanne was anything but an example of a healthy fitness lifestyle. Trading in favors with my many contacts with the Moro Bay sheriff’s […]
Young Billy is a 17-year old boy who enjoys math riddles, glee club and has plans to run for student body President. All that changed in an instant. Last week Billy asked popular cheerleader Shannon to the prom. He was rejected. In a cold-blooded utterance that can only be described as “terroristic in intent” Shannon […]
I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce a new feature to Manhattan Infidel, a feature that I hope will be an annual one: The Manhattan Infidel “Pete Best Award for Epic Futility in the Face of Epic Futility.” Once a year, or more if circumstances warrant, this prize will be given to the person […]
A tense, polarized and divided America was rocked again today by news that a cat, no doubt filled with hatred towards the government, vomited on a sofa. Police and Congressional leaders are appealing for calm. MSNBC interrupted its regularly scheduled programming (Behind Bars: The All Musical Edition) to cover the fast-moving tragedy. Contessa Brewer: Hello […]
For centuries centaurs, creatures that are part human, part horse have fascinated western culture. Many myths, songs, books and movies have featured them. But what is it really like to be a centaur? Fortunately, courtesy of the Centaur Normalization Act of 2006, there are now many centaurs in the United States. The results of the […]
Greetings fellow Democrats: The past weeks have been very trying for we who are members of progressive party. We were beaten rather badly in the midterm elections. (The result, of course, of our failure to properly articulate our redistributive message and not because voters preferred Republicans.) And we are all aware of the tragic events […]