A Special Message from DNC Chairman Tim Kaine

Remember, the Constitution is not legally binding!Greetings fellow Democrats:

The past weeks have been very trying for we who are members of progressive party.  We were beaten rather badly in the midterm elections. (The result, of course, of our failure to properly articulate our redistributive message and not because voters preferred Republicans.)

And we are all aware of the tragic events in Arizona the past week.  A tea party activist, no doubt influenced by vitriolic rhetoric on talk radio, Fox News and Sara Palin, shot a Democratic congresswoman, prompting concerns for our safety.

Remember:  Those on the right are unhinged!  Any and all opposition to Democratic polices is Prima facie evidence of racism and hatred.  Whether it be written or spoken, opposition to our policies cannot be tolerated in a free Republic.  Opposition to us is morally wrong.  Opposition to Republicans is patriotic.

You may be asking:  But what can we do?

All is not lost!  We still hold a majority in the Senate and control the White House.  I expect a bill restricting speech that we find insensitive, charged and hate-filled to be introduced this session.  Once it is passed a new age of order and obedience will reign in America.  It will be a rebirth of the Democratic Party once the Republicans and their allies on this new-fangled internet are shut down.

Recently the Republicans staged a stunt where they read the Constitution on the floor of the House.  I’m sure many of you were as disgusted by this as I was.

Republicans seem to worship this document.

But do not panic!  The Constitution is just a guidepost and is not legally binding on anyone, much less elected officials.

Oaths are conveniences to be discarded as situation merits.  I myself took an oath when I joined the Boy Scouts.  Do I still stand by that oath?  Of course not.  I am a grown up now.  Same with the Constitution.  Democrats are adults and have progressed past that old parchment.

So fellow Democrats:  Stand fast.  Stand firm against the Republicans and their hate-filled  racially-charged rhetoric.

We Democrats will come back stronger than ever in 2012.

So lock and load and keep the Republicans in your cross-hairs!

Good hunting to you!

Tim Kaine

Chairman Democratic National Committee



8 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    I call bullshit.

    Tim Kaine is as smart as the average footstool. There’s no way he wrote all that. The man can barely write his name in the snow.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KS: I think he received help from CNN, the New York Times and MSNBC.

  3. The Jungers says:

    So basically he had a teleprompter and then someone to read it to him so he could repeat it.

  4. innominatus says:

    The thought of lots of democrats locking and loading – it makes me think there will be long waits in the emergency room for foot injuries.

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    TJ: Yes, he is a Democrat and he takes after his boss – President Obama.

    Inn: You know, Democrats with guns are always amusing until someone gets an eye poked out.

  6. Matt says:

    I was half expecting him to say, “you will obey.”

  7. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: We are the Democratic Party. We have ways…..of making you obey!

  8. Matthew says:

    And when the Dems said that Bush was ‘shredding the Constitution’?

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