Browsing the blog archives for January, 2010
MTV has announced that it is canceling their reality show “Predator and Virgin” starring Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf. Though the network had hopes for the series and thought that it would strike a chord with their desired demographic, in the end the show’s format proved too controversial (each week the […]
Barack Obama, a local Chicago comedian hoping to break through nationally, performed in front of a packed house tonight in Washington DC. Mr. Obama appeared nervous and was clearly flustered when one of his first jokes about tax cuts did not get a response from the audience. But Obama bravely moved on, kidding that “I […]
The Federal Government announced today that it will ban telephone poles from all U.S. owned property. “We live in a new, brave, progressive America. Telephone poles resemble crosses and as such, have been banned as a religious symbol” said a Department of Interior spokesperson. “As our President has said, this is not just a Christian […]
The 2010 census form features a word not commonly used since the 1960s: Negro. “The word was placed in the census for inclusivosity….er, inclusivisitosity….um. The Obama Administration is all about ALL the people and that’s why we included negro” said a census spokesperson. According to sources the primary reason for changing the census form was […]
Mickey Dolenz today was named “The most influential, most important and most cool” person of all time. Dolenz beat out such luminaries as Ed Wood Jr., Pinky Tuscadero, fellow band member Davy Jones, Dick Van Patten, Ron Blomberg and Neville Chamberlain. “While we feel that all finalists were worthy, particulary Pinky Tuscadero for her platonic […]
Several world leaders, including President Barack Obama, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Danish Prime Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have vowed to take drastic steps to stop anthropogenic global warming, including taxing, fining or destroying the Sun. “Every day and in every way our dear, sacred mother Earth is under attack” […]
John Kerry (above) talks to reporters State Senator Scott Brown defeated the political odds by winning the senate seat formerly held by Ted Kennedy. Already the repercussions in the political world are huge. Gone is the Democrat’s filibuster-proof majority and any hopes of passing the health care reform bill. Hours after the final results were […]
During a routine photo op at the White House today with the Girl Scouts, the Presidential Teleprompter malfunctioned, causing chaos, panic and severe embarrassment for the administration. The trouble started when President Obama was meeting with several girl scouts who had won awards for selling the most cookies. Unbeknown to the President, his scheduled speech […]
On the heels of the embarrassment over the Salahi’s crashing a presidential dinner comes word that yet a third gate crasher was also at the event. When asked why the person was let in, a Secret Service agent responded, “What was I supposed to do? He was wearing a T-shirt that said ‘I am definitely […]
The first annual Hijacker’s convention in Troupsburg, New York has ended. Organizers call it a “qualified success.” “It was nice seeing the old gang again and reminisce about those heady days in the ’60s. God, everybody was hijacking then. We were on top of the world” said an attendee. Another conventioneer, wearing a t-shirt that […]